It is hard to understand the pain of any situation unless you experience it yourself. Sometimes I don't understand the depth of my own pain. It seems whenever I listen to a sermon that has to do with severe life circumstances divorce is always mentioned. The sermon I listened to this week included a quote that grouped cancer and divorce in the same sentence. How are we supposed to survive these awful things you ask?
"Where others fail you God never will. He is the one rock you can build your life on"
Pastor at The Summit Church
Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart
It's Monday. No matter your life situation, be it good or bad, get out of bed, spend time with God, then hold your head up high and face the day. Remember God walks beside you.
Here we go again. How many times can you plead the fifth in a deposition? I guess as many as you like. The line questioning has to do with a time prior to my knowledge of his intent to leave. My guess, but I am not entirely sure, is that some of this occurred when we were on our family vacation.
Joanne: "In the spring, April and May of 2013 did you leave your, quote, running phone, for lack of a better description with a third party, and did you in fact call that phone from your iPhone?"
JV: "I'll take the Fifth Amendment to remain silent."
Joanne: "If your bills which were subpoenaed and furnished a copy to your lawyer show that you talked on one day over four --I think four and a half hours from between your phone and your running phone, could you tell me who you would have been speaking to?"
JV: "I'll remain silent"
Joanne: "And if those bills showed that the next day you spent two and a half hours speaking between your running phone and your iPhone, do you recall who that would have been with?"
JV: "I'll take the Fifth Amendment on that as well"
Joanne: "And if you, in fact, have the running phone so that your phone calls couldn't be traced; it would look like you're talking to yourself for four hours?"
JV: "Absolutely not"
Well, at least we know he was not speaking to himself.
I am just so glad God does not change. His promises are true,, He will never leave us or forsake us.
Some may say that I am angry and this is why I am sharing my story. Truth be known I am angry at what he has done to our family, but I am no longer angry with him. I forgive him because that is what God calls us to do. Not that he has ever asked. I am just telling my story to let others know they are not alone and they can make it regardless of the pain.
....Conversation in regard to questioning as to whether an affair was going on prior to JV leaving the marriage home. My question is, if you are not guilty, why plead the fifth? You would think a person under oath would be happy to say "no, I was not having an affair" unless, indeed, that would be an untruth.
Page 17..... Joanne: Were you involved in a relationship with a third party at that time?
JV: I Plead the Fifth
Joanne: My question is, were you engaged in an adulterous relationship with a third party, and it's your answer that you're claiming your rights under the Fifth?
JV: Fifth Amendment, yes. Uh-huh
Let's go to a better place....God's Beauty in the Pain...Aaah the beach:-)
Remember if you are going through this you are not alone. I have met so many on this journey. The stories are all so similar. Promises were broken and an utter lack of care and commitment. Very sad but more common than we would like to think. In my opinion, it is an awful example for others.
Hold unto God and your friends. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do not give up.
Love, hugs and prayers
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul....
(If you want to seem some photos from my beach trip head on over to Kathiey's World.
The beauty of God still surrounds us even in our difficult life situations:-)
"No matter the bumps No matter the bruises No matter the scars Still the truth is The cross has made The cross has made you flawless No matter the hurt Or how deep the wound is No matter the pain Still the truth is The cross has made The cross has made you flawless" Mercy Me
I enjoyed the article. I will share just a few of her 17 ways, some of the ones that hold true in my situation.
**"It truly forced me to stop being someone I'm not in order to make someone else happy. Because of divorce, I'm now focused on just being the best version of me I can be." **
In the beginning of my transition that was not my way of thinking, the pain was too intense. Now I am beginning to think that way and it makes me happy.
**"I now recognize that there's no room in my life for that kind of pain anymore.I no longer need to explain myself to my ex-husband.**
What an unexpected gift. Peace:-)
"Divorce has made me a more confident, wiser, empathetic and empowered person........"
Amen to that one!
**"Divorce taught me that I can fix, repair, install and put back together just about any appliance or piece of furniture in my home. **
That's not entirely true in my case. But I do have the ability to ask for help and I am not afraid to so just that.
**"I always give people an opportunity to be honest and speak their mind. I never want to be blindsided again."**
And boy was I blindsided. When I learned the truth I was shocked. I am sure there is more truth to be discovered but I no longer worry about that. As a friend once said about my X after he learned the truth behind the facade..."The scales fell from my eyes". Believe me it is an extremely painful process.
"I learned what I will and won't accept from those in my life. I never allow myself to be treated like I'm not important again."
It is in looking back I can see clearly how I was treated. Promises broken, dreams put on hold, I was never quite good enough. I am glad I can now feel good about myself. I am happy.
I can't water this process down and tell you it is an easy process. It is gut wrenching. Unbelievably painful. But Hold On!!! You can make it. One day at a time and each day gets better although it is a roller coaster and a slow process. It has been 2 years for me and I am still in the process. Don't let anyone tell you there is a time frame. There is not.
Hold unto your faith your family and your friends.
I was listening to an online sermon yesterday. The pastor spoke of the roadblocks that we encounter in our lives. He mentioned cancer, divorce, financial problems. The list is endless. I believe we all encounter some type of challenge. For me it has been the pain of abandonment. I liked the pastors quote....and I paraphrase
"In the middle of our mess god create us to be a blessing"
I think is a powerful statement. No matter our life situation God can use it to help and bless others if we let him. I find it exciting that we can help others that may be in the same situation as ourselves and in that we can find a blessing as well.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you…"