Monday, December 11, 2017

Morning Motivation, "You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important", The Help

I have just recently finished the book "The Help"  When I found out there was a movie I could not wait to see it. There were many times in the movie I found myself angry at the injustice and other times touched by the tenderness. The love in the quote repeatedly spoken by Aibileen to the little girl in her care touched my heart.
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important" 
Words we all need to hear when we are little and continue to hear as we age.  They are words of encouragement, support, and love.  In our humanness, we sometimes fail to encourage others with words they may desperately need to hear.  Sometimes we fail to give the hugs, the support, the time.  We get caught up in life and its problems, its busyness.  In the times when we feel alone, when we feel unimportant, or feel downright stupid, we need to remember that is not how God feels.  To God we are important.
"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us."
  ~St. Augustine

To all my blogging friends and to Erica, T-Josh, Stephanie, Josh, Caleb, Maggie, Bruce, Carol, Brandon, Vanessa, Kristin, and Melissa and to everyone else that brings joy to this world,
"You is kind. You is smart. You is important"
Happy Monday Everyone!
Enjoy Your World:-)

(This post is a blast from the past.  I have Maggie my 15 month old grandbaby this week, so there will not be much blogging going on.  There will be a lot of Nana and Maggie cuddle time, and I can't wait for that.  I wrote this post before Joseph Voshell left me in 2013.  Initially, I gave him credit at the bottom in the list of names but no longer.  I have added Maggie who warms my heart and of course T-Josh who is wonderful:-)

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Beware the Narcissist Quotes from Pinterest...

I never really understood the meaning of Narcissism.  There was no mention in primary or secondary school.  I don’t remember mention of it in my psych classes in nursing school.  How can we protect ourselves from something we don’t know or understand?  With that in mind, I will be doing a series of quotes from Pinterest to help us all better understand and protect ourselves from the narcissist.
 Beware the Narcissist, the Beginning The Journey The Joy
The Beginning...

The Journey

The Joy

(Not all divorces are a product of a narcissist but many are, and that is why I am doing this series)
Always remember God's promise.  "I will never leave you or forsake you."
Thank you God!

Monday, December 4, 2017

Morning Motivation "Wait on the Lord"

I will be the first to admit that it is not always easy to wait on the Lord.  If we love God and trust Him, then wait we must for He "knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11.

For many of us going through a separation and divorce, our path has been drastically changed. All of our plans and dreams have been shifted.  We may not know which way to go and that is when we need to trust and wait on the Lord and his timing because His timing is best.

Timing is so important! If you are going to be successful in dance, you must be able to respond to rhythm and timing. It’s the same in the Spirit. People who don’t understand God’s timing can become spiritually spastic, trying to make the right things happen at the wrong time. They don’t get His rhythm – and everyone can tell they are out of step. They birth things prematurely, threatening the very lives of their God-given dreams. – T. D. Jakes

I don't believe that waiting means just sitting still.  It means to be active in out waiting.  We need to go through the doors God opens. We need to strive to know God's will in our lives and work at our faith.  I too believe he wants us to enjoy our lives and serve others while we wait on Him to fulfill His will in our lives.  In other words, we need to live our lives for Him daily while we wait.

"If the Lord Jehovah makes us wait, let us do so with our whole hearts; for blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is worth waiting for. The waiting itself is beneficial to us: it tries faith, exercises patience, trains submission, and endears the blessing when it comes. The Lord's people have always been a waiting people"
- Charles Surgeon

"Lord thank you for your love and your promises.  Help us to rely on your timing and not our own.  Sometimes we think we know what is best and push for an outcome that is not in your will or your timing.  Please show us when to stop and when to go forward.  
Help us to put our lives in your hands.  Amen"


Friday, December 1, 2017

Finding Joy Sept 2017 "The Joy"

There is always joy to be found. 
Memories that brought me joy Sept 2017 along with some quotes I found relating to joy.
Hope you EnJoy:-)

"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." 
Joseph Campbell

Erica's Birthday Party.

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." Richard Bach
The joy of travel...

Perfect happiness is a beautiful sunset, the giggle of a grandchild, the first snowfall. It's the little things that make happy moments, not the grand events. Joy comes in sips, not gulps. 
Sharon Draper
The Joy of my Grandchildren.
"Joy is the serious business of Heaven." 
C. S. Lewis
The Joy of Writing
Thank you God for the Joy!

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

What ways are adult children affected by their parents divorce? A YouTube Video

There is a lot I would like to say about this video.  I am afraid it would turn into an endless justified rant toward someone who has hurt my family and others.  I will say that I do agree with what they say in the video and I realize it is just the tip of the iceberg of family damage.  Yes, some divorces are warranted, but many are not.  Some are just pure selfishness.

So how do we help our children?  Reassure them that you don't ever plan on leaving them and that you are always there for them I guess would be a start.  Along with lots of prayer and lots of love.  I think you need to be honest as well.  I don't sugar coat it.

Please Lord be with our children.  Help them to remember your promise 
"I will never leave you or forsake you." 
Thank You, God!

Monday, November 27, 2017

Morning Motivation from the Book of Esther 4:14

I just listened to a sermon from the Summit Church in Durham NC.  The focus of the talk was Esther from the Old Testament. She was placed in a situation, not of her choosing.  But it was the choices she made in this "time" that made all the difference.  Her impact was far-reaching, saving the lives of many and also bringing justice to some. She decided that she would step out on faith, even though she was afraid, and make a difference.

God can take our situations and use them for good.  God can use "such a time as this" whatever the circumstance in our lives may be and use it to help others if we are only faithful to this calling.

"Dear God, you know I did not want a family divided and all the pain and chaos that goes along with that division.  But I am in this situation now, and I pray that I use "such a time as this" to help others and for your glory.  Please direct my path.  Thank you, God!" KathieyV

I don't know your situation, but I pray that God leads you in this time to be faithful, and use whatever the circumstance to bring glory to Him and to others.  God Bless

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Article Review, "21 Tips to Survive Divorce and the Holidays" by Dr Karen Finn

Yes, it is the holiday season.  Back before my separation and divorce, the holidays had an air of magic about them.  A time to celebrate our family and our faith.  This is no longer true now that we are a family divided.

The first holiday season I spent alone was in 2013.  I remember the confusion and pain like it was yesterday.   The holidays are more comfortable for me now, but I hate all of the complicated plans that my kids have to make to be sure they include everyone in their newly divided family.  I will repeat myself as I have over the years "I would never have done this to my family.  I feel that in this case,  it was a very selfish act."  

Take a few minutes and read Dr. Finn's article, "21 Tips to Survive Divorce and the Holidays".  I am going to read it and base my thoughts on 2013 vs 2017 and see how my views have changed over this four year span.  I will focus on just a few from her writings.

#1 Be Patient and #2 Be Flexible.
"Be patient with yourself, your kids and the rest of your family as you navigate the holidays. This is new and different for everyone and a little patience will go a long way toward making your first holidays post-separation/divorce more enjoyable than you might believe they can be right now. Dr Finn.
"I remember clearly the pain of facing my first holiday as a separated woman.  My children were in pain, and so was I.  The only one who showed no regret was the one who divided us." KathieyV

"Today I am still disturbed that someone can do this to a family especially for nothing other than selfishness.  I no longer miss him, and I do not want to be around him.  I now realize I never really knew him.  My only concern is the example being set for my children and the instability that comes with that example.  I will not see my family on Thanksgiving Day, but that is not an issue for me.  I know we can celebrate the holiday on any given day." KathieyV
#14 Count Your Blessings.  I don't know that I did that in 2013 the pain was too intense.  Now four years later I have so much that I am thankful for.  My kids, my grand babies, my friends, my home and of course my dog Brodie.
#7 Make New Family Traditions, #10 Continue your Traditions, but simplify them.
Back in 2013, I can't seem to recall how the holiday celebrations went.  I know I was upset that we were no longer a family. In 2017 we are continuing some of our traditions such as getting our yearly Christmas PJ's.  It seems like each year there are tweaks, but that is ok.  I guess we are learning what does and does not work.
I don't know where you are in this process.  If this is your first holiday season hold on it will get better.  I find the best thing to do is cling to your faith and spend time with your family and your friends.  That is what pulls us though, what I have found to be, potentially, the most challenging time in your life.
Always remember God's Promise "I will never leave you or forsake you."
God bless you this holiday season.