Monday, March 20, 2017

Inspiration Through the Music. My Sunday Song by MercyMe - "Even If"


Nothing touches me more then Christian music.  This week one of my favorite songs is "Even If" by Mercy me.  I like to look over song lyrics and place them in my category of The Beginning of my trauma, The Journey, finding myself again, and The Joy, that can still be found after an intense hurt. Listen to the song, it is inspirational and will touch your heart if you find yourself damaged by someone in your life.
The Beginning

"They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I'm losing bad"

"They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now"


The Journey

"But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul"

The Joy
"I know You're able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul"

Thank you God!
KathieyV

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Weekly Quote from Pinterest

I found this quote and photo on Pinterest.  The statement is true.  Every day is not "good" in fact the day may be horrible.  There are times you just cannot see the positive because of the pain, but it is there.  Let's make an attempt to see good every day on our journey.    I don't know what you have to endure in your life, but God does.  Remember his promise.  I will never leave you or forsake you.
Thank you God:-)
Take a moment to list some of the good in your life....
Holding my 6 month old grand baby while she sleeps.  So beautiful, so peaceful.
My dog who is always by my side....He is sleeping at my feet right now:-)
Friends who never give up on you even in your most difficult times.
The chill in the air and the warm fireplace.
The rain today as it waters the trees and grass.
Please leave me a reply as to the good you are finding today in your world.
God Bless You!
KathieyV:-)

Friday, March 10, 2017

Ways to De-Stress....Journaling

I came across and article several weeks ago,  100 ways to De-Stress by Karen Carnabucci. I posted on her first suggestion, using chocolate to destress, Chocolate Meditation.  Can't go wrong with chocolate:-) 
Karen's second suggestion is to Journal.  I do journal but not consistently.  I found it especially helpful when my ex first left.  Through writing, I was able to find pieces of my self that were shattered.  I am still finding the pieces  today, nearly 4 years later. 
I went online to find a few benefits of journaling and believe me there are many.  If click on any of the links below you will find more info...

Positive Effects of Journaling.
  • Reduce stress. Writing about anger, sadness and other painful emotions helps to release the intensity of these feelings. By doing so you will feel calmer and better able to stay in the present. Psych Central
  • Healing
    Expressive writing is a route to healing — emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Dr. James Pennebaker, author of  Writing to Heal has seen improved immune function in participants of writing exercises. Stress often comes from emotional blockages, and overthinking hypotheticals. He explains, “When we translate an experience into language we essentially make the experience graspable.” And in doing so, you free yourself from mentally being tangled in traumas.  Huff Post

    Lower Blood Pressure  Because journaling lowers stress and anxiety, it can help manage high blood pressure. Dr. James Pennebaker claims that journaling strengthens T-lymphocytes, immune cells that fluctuate with stress and anxiety. Strengthening them boosts your immune system and helps keep your blood pressure low. Health and Fitness Revolution

    Journals help you have a better connection with your values, emotions, and goals By journal writing about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you better understand your relationships to those things. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.  Life Hack

     Keeping a journal requires us to write out our goals. The importance of committing our desires to paper cannot be overstated. It is a simple process, but it pays great dividends. Writing out our goals provides the opportunity to articulate them clearly and makes their achievement appear closer.Becoming Minimalist
(One of the suggestions I found was to find a quiet place to journal with no distractions.  As you will see in the above photo I had a distraction.  Thats ok, its only Brodie:-)

Just how do you journal?  Check out this site for details on how to journal...Journaling Saves Lives 

For me it is just to sit down and write.
So how do I sum up journaling?  For me, it is a release of my thoughts and emotions.  It does confirm my faith and help me set up goals.  I find it to be not only the act of writing but I direct most of my writing to God so for me it is an act of worship.
In my opinion, you should give it a try.  If you have trouble coming up with how to begin, I suggest you get a journal that prompts you.  Right now I am using a devotional journal...
My suggestion for today.  Get out a pen and paper and grab a bar of chocolate.  Hopefully it will help decrease some of your stress.  I know if you are going through the pain of separation and divorce that the stress is unbearable at times.  Don't give up.  Remember God's promise.  "I will never leave you or forsake you".
God Bless
KathieyV

Monday, February 20, 2017

Morning Motivation...He Directs our Path

I love to travel.  I love adventures.  I love the turquoise waters of the Caribbean, the trails in the mountains of NC, feeling the cool breeze during a bike ride near the beach.  I have a five yr old grandson, and we go on adventures.  We have been to museums, the zoo, the park, the ocean and there are many other excursions that I am planning.  My dog Brodie and I love to go on walking adventures together.
It would be exciting if life's journeys would take us to exotic beaches, towering snowcapped mountains, and beautiful cathedrals.  Wouldn't that be great?  Yes, we can make some of those things happen, and I hope to. But, sometimes life's journeys are less than joyous.  Life events such as death, illness, and in my case, divorce.  The pain can be devastating.   In these times we call out to God.
Lord, please wrap your arms around us.  Give us your peace, joy, and comfort no matter what adventure we find ourselves on.  Please direct our path and help us to trust your direction.  Help us to praise you in this amazing adventure we call life.
I love you Lord and look forward to our travels together:-)
KathieyV:-)

"I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I acknowledge Him and He directs my paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Thursday, February 9, 2017

I am Divorced...Realization of a Dream Destroyed

Divorce, Realization of a Dream Destroyed.
Well today,  Feb 9 2017,  I am officially divorced.  So how do I feel on this impactful day?  I will try to verbalize it...


Did I ever in a million years predict that I would be divorced?  No!
Did I choose to break a vow to someone I loved, or did love, or a vow to God?  No!
Did I ever want to divide my family?  No!
Did I ever want to put my children in in a position for an increased chance of divorce, what statically happens with divorced families?  No!
Did I ever want to field questions from my grandchildren as to why they have multiple grandparents.  No!
Did I want my children and grandchildren to say it is ok to throw a family member away anytime they want just because they are tired of them?  No!



Did I want to fulfill my vow to God and to my husband?  Yes!
Did I want to have children that could look at their parents and see love and commitment?  Yes!
Did I want children that could look to their parents as an example of imperfect people trying their best to fulfill God's plan and through that example believe that a commitment to God and to each other is important?  Yes!
Did I want to have grandchildren that could say that their grandparents took their vow to God and each other seriously.  That family was important and thus find some stability in that family bond?  Yes!
Did I want to retire with my husband and enjoy trips and wonderful times with my family!  Yes!

What now?

I will always be honest. Ask me anything.  I invite your questions.
I will move on to hopefully help others who have been betrayed.
I will love my girls and my grandchildren with all my heart.
I will continue to hold tightly to God knowing that he is our only true constant in this life.
I will remind myself of God's promise..."I will never leave you or forsake you"
Thank you God!
Kathiey:-)

Friday, February 3, 2017

10 Things Every Woman Going Through a Divorce Wants to Hear from Huff Post



I was reading an article from Huff Post....10 Things Every Woman Going Through a Divorce Wants to Hear.  I know that before my experience with separation and divorce I had no clue as to the extent of the pain.   I think my reply to a woman who was going through this would have been "I am so sorry to hear that" and I would give her a hug and go on my way not realizing just how lost this person could feel.  I know much better now.  I know this is a pain that does not go away quickly, if ever,  but it does get easier.  In the early days and even beyond what do we want to hear?  As I looked over her list I picked a few that I feel could be extremely helpful.

"You know I have your back"  
The Stir

It is so important to know that there is someone that will stand by you especially when the one you gave your life to just dropped you like a hot potato.

"This sucks"  
The Stir

The reassurance that someone realizes this is not just scrape it is a deep wound. 

"What do you need?"  
The Stir
Believe me, in the heat of the devastation you do not know what you need.  This one question can help you start to think about what you do need and hopefully lead you to steps to meet those needs.

These are just a few of the things listed in this article that I could relate to.
If your friend or family member is going though this just know the pain they are in is deep and unfathomable to those who have not experienced it.  Please give them lots of hugs, love, and support.
If you are in this situation don't give up.  Reach out to your friends and family.  Take care of yourself as much as you can and lean on your faith.
Always remember God's promise.  "I will never leave you or forsake you".  
Thank you God!
KathieyV:-)