Beware the Narcissist-What is Narcissistic Mirroring? How it Works.

Beware The Narcissist!

When going through a divorce, many people realize for the first time, maybe in decades, that they were married to a narcissist.  Sadly, most are not taught in school, or anywhere for that matter, what a narcissist is, so when confronted with narcissistic behavior, we may not be aware of the signs or potential abuse involved in a relationship with a narcissist.  With that in mind, I will be doing a series on "Beware The Narcissist" to help us become more familiar with the typical behavior of a narcissist.  Even if we are lucky enough to have not been in a narcissistic relationship, it is good to know what to look for to avoid such a relationship in the future.

I have read a lot about narcissism since I went through a divorce.  Why?  Because many women going through a divorce are dealing with a narcissist.  I think it is good to learn from their experience and our own due diligence to know what to look for so that we can avoid a relationship with a narcissist in the future.

Narcissistic Mirroring 

In many of the articles I have read about narcissism, they mention "Mirroring." I think it is time to understand just what mirroring entails.  Let's take a look.

Here is a definition of mirroring I found on Simply Psychology.

"Narcissistic mirroring is a manipulation tactic used by narcissistic individuals to create a false sense of connection with another person by mimicking their thoughts, feelings, interests, or behaviors."

Mirroring can be used in a good way.  In social situations, it is normal to mirror someone to gain rapport and build a connection.  We all are programmed to mirror but in a good way, whereas when mirroring is used by a narcissist, it is used to manipulate and build their narcissist supply.  The good and bad in mirroring are geared around intent.  Normal mirroring is done in an unconscious way, but narcissist mirroring is done with the intent to use or self-serve. They may use mirroring to win you over.

This is what the Happiness Blog has to say about mirroring...

"Mirroring can capture the innocent victim’s attention to such a degree 

that they are left in awe of the person mirroring them."

It can be very difficult to tell if you are being mirrored.  Narcissists have become very good at this practice, so it may be very subtle.  Here are a few things that you may notice if you are being mirrored

• Mimicking your body language
• Mimicking your voice intonation
• Mimicking your speech patterns
• Mimicking your gestures
• Repeating your words back to you
• Copying your facial expressions
• They hang on your every word
• Your interests also are their interests
• They may mirror any tragedy in your life as though they had to face it too
• They may mirror your belief system

So why do they mirror?  The narcissist uses mirroring to gain your trust so that they can use you as a form of supply.  A Narcissist can continue to mirror you as long as you can offer them some type of reward or supply.  As soon as you are of no use to them for their needs, this mirroring more then likely will stop.

If you realize you are being mirrored, then be cautious.  This could be just a natural relationship builder, or you could be the target of a narcissist.  Do your research and protect yourself.  If you think you may be dealing with a narcissist, I would suggest that you run away as quickly as possible.

God, Bless You On Your Journey!

KathieyV