I just read an article from Huff Post, "Have You embraced Your Divorce" by Vikki Ziegler.
Here is a quote from her writings...
"So you’ve accepted your divorce. Good for you. That’s a huge step, and you should feel proud. Now I have a question: Have you embraced your divorce? “Embrace my what?” you may be thinking. “Why would I ever want to do that?”." Vikki ZieglerMy thoughts....
It took me a while to accept my pending divorce. My X had been seeing a divorce attorney and had filed for legal separation without a word to me. After 37 years of marriage, how could I accept this? I married a man that was a pastor for over 20 years and who swore to God to love and to cherish me till death do us part. I ask again, "How could I accept this?". It went against everything I believed; it went against my hopes and dreams, it went against my promise to God, it went against my heart and my very being.
I struggled for a long time to reinvent my new life, A life I did not choose. Amazingly though after four years of taking one baby step at a time, I have embraced my divorce. The divorce was final in Feb 2017. I am still reinventing my life, and I am happy. I like who I am, and I like who I am becoming.
Vikki says that we should re-evaluate our past and learn from it. She suggests that going though this process is hard and that we should seek guidance from a therapist, clergyman, or a close friend. (Sure won't be a clergyman for me considering my X was one.....would you say I now have trust issues? Go figure:-). My greatest help came from God and from my trusted friends.
After working on ourselves, she mentions dating. Do I want to date? That is a tough one. I now realize I don't need a man to be happy. I would not mind developing male friendships. I am not actively searching. I don't want to make the same mistake again. All that I put in God's hands, he knows best.
So I keep putting one foot in front to the other. Not so much baby steps anymore but regular steps. I am enjoying my life, my family, and my friends. And yes, I am embracing my divorce. Thanks for the article Vikki!