Online Dating and the Grey Divorce. Is it Worth It?

 I never thought I would be thinking about dating again in my 60's.  I thought I would be retired with my husband, enjoying our grandchildren and taking trips as a family.  That dream did not pan out because my husband of nearly four decades walked out on me.  So is online dating for me?  Let's take a look at what I know.

First, I thought I would look at some of the dating sites out there.  I found an article on the Observer called 15 Dating Sites for Finding Matches over 50, 60, and 70 Guide to Dating Websites for Older Adults.

Here is the list of their top 10 sites

Top Senior Dating Sites, By Type

1. Best overall, largest user base – eHarmony
2. Best dating site for 60+ singles – SilverSingles
3. Best site for Christian dating over 50 – Christian Mingle
4. Best casual dating site for seniors – Senior Friend Finder
5. Best dating site for educated professionals – Elite Singles
6. Best mature dating app for Jewish seniors – JDate
7. Best over 50 dating website in the UK – OurTime
8. Best senior hookup site for flings – Senior Sizzle
9. Best Catholic dating site for senior citizens –  Catholic Match
10. Hand selected matchmaking service – It’s Just Lunch
11. Best 100% free dating site – OkCupid

It looks like eHarmony is their top site. They state that it has the largest community of seniors online.   Silver singles are, according to Observer, their second choice.  I don't qualify for many sites, such as JDate because I am not Jewish, Catholic Match because I am not Catholic, and Senior Sizzle is not for me because I am not into casual hookups...yikes.

I have been on a couple of the dating sites.  When my husband first left me, I had this enormous hole in my heart and decided to fill it with dating.  I signed up for OurTime.  It did not feel right to me, so I did not go on any dates.  In the book I am working on now, I say don't let the devastation of divorce change who you are.  I felt if I followed the dating path at that time that it would be a sharp change in who I was, and I did not want that for my life.

I recall one encounter, by online e-mail, on OurTime.  The man I was talking to said after telling me he was disabled, paraphrase-"It would be so nice if you would take care of my family and me."  What? That was not what I was looking for in the world of dating.  That was the last person I talked with on OurTime.  

I did join Match for a while and talked to many people online and on the phone, but nothing became of these encounters.  What I did find out was that online conversation is a bit deceiving.  People I talked with online sounded perfect for me.  Once we started phone conversations, it did not take long to figure out who they were, and many times, they had an agenda that I wanted no part of.

When I ask the question, "do I want to date?"  I have to say I am not sure.  I am enjoying my life as it is, but yes at times, it is lonely, and I would love a partner.  Maybe not so much a partner but a friend to share in my life and for me to share in theirs.  

I may check out one of the sites just to fill in the lonely spots that Covid 19 has cast upon us.  It would be fun to share my day with someone who is caring enough to listen.  I would do the same for them.  If I try another dating site, I think I would go with Silver Singles.

How about you?  Are you on any dating sites?  What luck or lack thereof has been your experience.

Take Care!

KathieyV