Journal Prompt-Describe Who You Are and Where You Are

 

 

That is a tough question for me.  I can easily tell you where I am.  I am in the mountains of North Carolina.  I am all by myself, and I am trying to rediscover who I am.

It is fall, and I find myself at a B&B in Hendersonville, NC.  Why am I here, do you ask?  I am here to see the fall leaves.  It is the second week in October, and you would expect to find cool weather and a kaleidoscope of beautiful leaves.  The reality is that it is in the upper 70's and humid because this area is experiencing the remnants of hurricane Delta.  The leaves are in their infancy of beauty.  I have seen some yellows and light reds and oranges.  I know the beauty will follow in the coming weeks. 

Who am I?  Well, that is a completely different and much deeper and complicated question.  I thought I knew who I was, but I don't any longer.  I did know who I was and what I wanted earlier in my life; at least I thought I did.  As a young girl, I knew I wanted to follow God.  I actually wanted to marry a pastor and help others on their path in this sometimes difficult life.  I wanted to be a mom and stay at home with my children and help them as they started their path to adulthood. 

Did any of that happen for me?  Well, I did marry a man who said he was called by God to be a pastor.  He did become a pastor, but in my opinion, he was not called by God.  I would later find out he was disloyal in our marriage, and he would go on to leave me and break my heart. 

Yes, I did become a mom.  I had two beautiful daughters and now have three amazing grandkids and another on the way.  I hate that they come from a broken home, which is never the legacy I wanted to leave them.

The big question is, "who am I"?  I don't know; I am trying to rediscover who I am.  I am a woman who loves my children and grandchildren.  I am alone and in my 60's not sure of the path that God wants me to take.  I guess this is where faith comes in.  I trust God to take the reigns of my life and lead me where he wants me.  I trust God with my life and my future.  

All that being said, when the question is asked again, who are you, Kathy?  I would have to say I am a woman who loves her kids and grandkids, and I am a woman loved by God.  That is the extent of what I know, and for now, it is enough.

KathieyV