Surviving an Unwanted Separation and Divorce. My Story. My Faith.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Your Truth Will Set You Free....Unless You Are Gaslighting!
I talk with people often about divorce. Many women and a handful of men I have spoken with have experienced, what some call, gaslighting. How I understand gaslighting, it is the twisting of the truth and invention of new untruths.
I found an article that deals with the subject, "I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own" By Stilllearng2b. I will share with you some of her quotes and my thoughts on those quotes....
"He was rejecting reality and substituting his own." Stilllearning2b
"He was gaslighting – using deception and manipulation to cast himself as the sane and balanced one and to make me look unstable and vile." Stilllearning2b
This can become all to clear during divorce proceedings. Many times there are accusations that have to be disproved. I have found this to be fairly typical when speaking to others about their experiences. "He was a master at creating and convincing others of his own reality. And, as trusting of him as I was, I was easy to convince."
All I have to say about that quote at this time is "believe your gut feeling". It seems that more often then not it is right. I did not trust mine only to find out later I should have. "Gaslighting thrives on doubt. Starve it by believing in yourself." Stilllearning2b
Amen to that. Now it is our time to believe in ourselves and seek the life that God wants us to live. A life unimpeded by someone who never really loved us. Was it all in vain you ask? No, I don't think so. I know I would have been much happier having married someone who truly loved me. But then I would not have some of the gifts I now have. I have two wonderful daughters and two beautiful grandchildren. Because of that, aside from the pain caused to my girls, myself and others,
I would not change a thing.
I had to add one of my quotes. A thought based on all the divorce stories I have heard...
"Life is too short to waste time on morally bankrupt people who are unrepentant & refuse to see themselves for who they truly are. Instead, seeing only what they choose to see through the rose colored glasses they have created for themselves." KathieyV
I will leave you with a bible verse... "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
...and a reflection of the joy that I have that was worth the all the pain.