Saturday, November 21, 2015

Views From the Other Woman

I have been talking a lot lately with my new friend.   He is the husband of one of the women the PI found my husband with.  He is the husband of Gina.
One thing my Mom taught me was never to cheat.  She would say, "Don't go out with your friends husbands or any married man".  She would tell me "if a man cheats on someone he is involved with he will cheat on you too".  I have found that to be the case in many stories I have heard.  I learned from the PI I hired that my X was seeing two women in the short time period we watched him.  He was smooching in the parking lot with Suzette, to quote the PI, they were staring into each her eyes, kissing passionately, and X was rubbing her buttocks.  Just a few days later he was spending the night in his apartment with Gina.
I guess we all wonder how a man or a woman can live with the lies of cheating.  How they justify the ugliness they produce in peoples lives for their own selfish wants and needs. I came across an article in Huff Post, the divorce section.  

           I Was The Other Woman And It Changed My Life (For The Better)

Here are some quotes from the article
"I do not condone cheating and it is not something I am proud of. It is a terrible thing for everyone involved. But sadly yes, at one point in my life I was the other woman."

"He connected with me on so many levels, something no one had ever done before. The feeling of being loved the same way in return was exhilarating and to me, felt pure and true."

"What mattered to me at the time was I had truly thought I found someone who connected with me emotionally and wanted to build a life with me." 

 "I am a smart woman, but looking back I was stupid and so naïve. I'd even go as far as to say vulnerable and weak. I was thinking solely with my heart, and my brain followed suit."

"So, let me get to the point. In a 12 month period, I experienced a lot of s...t,  I had an affair, I divorced my husband, I got dumped, I moved, I started over. Alone."
"Being the Other Woman was immoral and so f....king stupid. Love does not conquer all. But I've grown to realize even average women like me can fall. We all want to feel loved, appreciated, wanted and needed. Not all women who get wrapped up in affairs are heartless, slutty b..., hunting for unavailable men. Sometimes, s... happens. It is up to us to decide where to go from there."
Now for My Opinion
Interesting quotes from the experienced "other woman".  I must say I hold no respect for someone who cares so little for the family unit.  No respect for someone that puts themselves above others regardless of the consequences.  To me, it is pure and simple selfishness. I have no respect for people that think they are above any  God given or moral laws.  (I feel that way about any cheater,  my X included)  I do have respect for the woman that wrote the article.  Yes, what she did was awful.  Yes, she and her affair partner hurt many people including their children.  Yes, they put their needs above all involved.  But, I do respect her for coming clean and trying to live a moral life.   
Prayers and hugs to all going through the awfulness of infidelity and divorce.
KathieyV:-)





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