Remains very difficult but searching for joy.....Monday Morning Motivation

This all remains very difficult for me.  In  my waking nightmare I try to sleep.  When I do fall asleep it is not for long and I wake up stressed and then realize that I am still in my nightmare.  This repeats day after day after day.  The physical and emotional symptoms remain.  It is awful, it is my living nightmare.
I pray a lot.  The two prayers I lean on are The Lords Prayer and Psalm 23.
The Lord is my shepherd (Lord help me to know you are leading me)
I shall not want (but I do want lord, I want peace and reassurance)
He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters
He restores my soul (my soul is in desperate need of restoration, it is shattered)
I will focus and pray these prayers hundreds of times this week as I have since my nightmare began.
One friend told me to find simple things to be thankful for even in the midst of the pain and the fog I am in.  Here is what I am thankful for today.
Many friends that have taken the time to not only pray for me but to send me cards and notes.  These things are what gets me through the day.
Time with Caleb this week. We spent a morning at a local museum.  I love his wonder and innocence.  
How he was amazed by the insects and the butterflies.  How we laughed when he spilled his water all over us as he learned to use his "big boy cup". How he told me he loved me and blew me kisses as he lay down for his nap.
(Caleb bravely walking up to the dinosaur)

I pray to God that he never has to live a nightmare but if stress does come his way that he leans on you because no matter what you love him. 
What ever painful boat you find yourself in try to hold unto God.  Try to remind yourself of his love for you.  Lean on anyone that will listen.  Pray.


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