Thursday, November 26, 2015

"What's Cooking" a Thanksgiving Movie

Thanksgiving has changed for me over the last couple of years.  We no longer have the traditional family unit.  This was not my decision to divide our family but "his". This year I will host Thanksgiving on Friday.  That is fine with me because I have all day Thursday to get ready. 

I decided today I would watch a couple of Thanksgiving movies, cook and do a bit of cleaning. I will take  Brodie for a walk to show him I am thankful that he is with me.
The frist movie I decided to watch was "What's Cooking"
"On Thanksgiving day, four ethnically diverse families -- VietnameseLatinoJewish, and African -American — gather for the traditional meal. Each family has its own distinct way of cooking the traditional holiday meal and its own set of problems."
Wikipedia
 The focus is on four different families.  All with their own set of joys and problems.  You get a glimpse into their lives over the Thanksgiving holiday.
So what did they have to eat? A wide range.  The typical turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, mac and cheese, corn, mushrooms, polenta for the vegetarian, rolls, ham, leeks, salad, tortillas, rice, shrimp eggrolls, and Asian veggies. From fresh cranberry sauce to the dreaded solid canned sauce, (which I no longer serve because the only one that liked it was X and he walked out).
For dessert, pumpkin pie, apple pie, con leche.  Wine and beer were also served.
Oh, the problems they did have.  A boy with a gun, husbands having affairs
(I can relate to that one), a burnt turkey, polar opposite political views, and the list goes on.
In the end though the families came together as a family unit should.  Only one was left on his own and that was the one of the "men" that cheated on his wife. As it should be, it was his decision. The other cheater was trying to make things right.
My Thanksgiving Dinner...Yummy ham, cheese and tomato sandwich.  Tomorrow will be turkey day.






I found this photo on Huff Post Divorce

I am having turkey and that description fits.  I would also like to watch a movie and have some salty buttery popcorn.  That too would fit as far as the relaxed part:-)  How about you?

 What did you have for your Thanksgiving Dinner?  Tomorrow I will be having.....
Turkey and Stuffing
Mashed potatoes and Gravy
Mac and Cheese,
Green Beans
Pie
Sweet Potato Cake
Iced Tea
Wine
Milk for Caleb
I like this quote from the movie "It's Thanksgiving, we'll get through this".


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.
There is always something to be thankful for!
KathieyV:-)

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Views From the Other Woman

I have been talking a lot lately with my new friend.   He is the husband of one of the women the PI found my husband with.  He is the husband of Gina.
One thing my Mom taught me was never to cheat.  She would say, "Don't go out with your friends husbands or any married man".  She would tell me "if a man cheats on someone he is involved with he will cheat on you too".  I have found that to be the case in many stories I have heard.  I learned from the PI I hired that my X was seeing two women in the short time period we watched him.  He was smooching in the parking lot with Suzette, to quote the PI, they were staring into each her eyes, kissing passionately, and X was rubbing her buttocks.  Just a few days later he was spending the night in his apartment with Gina.
I guess we all wonder how a man or a woman can live with the lies of cheating.  How they justify the ugliness they produce in peoples lives for their own selfish wants and needs. I came across an article in Huff Post, the divorce section.  

           I Was The Other Woman And It Changed My Life (For The Better)

Here are some quotes from the article
"I do not condone cheating and it is not something I am proud of. It is a terrible thing for everyone involved. But sadly yes, at one point in my life I was the other woman."

"He connected with me on so many levels, something no one had ever done before. The feeling of being loved the same way in return was exhilarating and to me, felt pure and true."

"What mattered to me at the time was I had truly thought I found someone who connected with me emotionally and wanted to build a life with me." 

 "I am a smart woman, but looking back I was stupid and so na├»ve. I'd even go as far as to say vulnerable and weak. I was thinking solely with my heart, and my brain followed suit."

"So, let me get to the point. In a 12 month period, I experienced a lot of s...t,  I had an affair, I divorced my husband, I got dumped, I moved, I started over. Alone."
"Being the Other Woman was immoral and so f....king stupid. Love does not conquer all. But I've grown to realize even average women like me can fall. We all want to feel loved, appreciated, wanted and needed. Not all women who get wrapped up in affairs are heartless, slutty b..., hunting for unavailable men. Sometimes, s... happens. It is up to us to decide where to go from there."
Now for My Opinion
Interesting quotes from the experienced "other woman".  I must say I hold no respect for someone who cares so little for the family unit.  No respect for someone that puts themselves above others regardless of the consequences.  To me, it is pure and simple selfishness. I have no respect for people that think they are above any  God given or moral laws.  (I feel that way about any cheater,  my X included)  I do have respect for the woman that wrote the article.  Yes, what she did was awful.  Yes, she and her affair partner hurt many people including their children.  Yes, they put their needs above all involved.  But, I do respect her for coming clean and trying to live a moral life.   
Prayers and hugs to all going through the awfulness of infidelity and divorce.
KathieyV:-)





Monday, November 16, 2015

Monday Morning Motivation Choose Your Path

Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go,"
Joshua 1:9
Sometimes where we find ourselves is not the most pleasant of places.  Sometimes we did not decide to be in this place but it was dictated by someone else.  Regardless of our situation we can rest assured that, as Christians, God is with us.  Maybe where we find ourselves was not our chosen path but we can choose how we react to it.  We can attempt to make a new path knowing that God is "with us wherever we go".  What a blessing!


I like a quote by Kristin Armstrong in regard to choosing our path...
"This choice not only affects you, but it can shape the legacy 
you leave for your children and grandchildren."

Our choices affect everyone.  With God's help, I pray I make the right ones. 
Happy Monday Everyone!
Enjoy Your World
KathieyV:-)

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Thoughts from "The Boston Girl" Becoming my own person

"How did I get to be the woman I am today?"  It started in that library, in the reading club.  
That is where I started to be my own person.
The Boston Girl



As I was reading "The Boston Girl" I came across the quote above.  I started to think about what made me the woman I am today.  Oh, so many things.

My childhood.  I loved my parents and realize they loved me too.  Probably more than anyone else ever has or ever will love me.  Yes, they had problems and I am sure those problems affected me and my choices.  In all of their problems and life choices, I think they did the best they could and would have always wanted the best for me. They would have never intentionally hurt me.

My Man. (or as a new friend calls him The Guy, who had an affair with his wife) My decision to marry a man that was full of promises.  He was going to rescue me from my home situation.  I remember standing in a field, the property he said his Dad was going to give him.  We would build a home there and he would be a pastor and seek to help others. I was crying and he said that he would always love me and care for me and never make me cry. Yes, I believed his empty promises and I did marry him. I stand here today after 37 years of marriage an abandoned middle-aged woman. This person has made me cry more than anyone else in my lifetime.

My Faith.  My faith is my rock. It gets me through everything,  the good the bad and the ugly.  You notice I did not say my church.  I don't have one.  I served in the church where my husband was the pastor for nearly 20 years.  I spoke to a man whose wife, he said,  had an affair with my X nearly the entire time X pastored there.  Betrayed by the pastor, my husband, and my friend. I have, like many, been damaged by the church, not by God, there is a difference.  Again you notice I did not say the church.  God is my rock, my protector, my strength and my hope.
(I would love to be part of a church again.  I know this is a need but I think I am still in recovery)

I guess I would say these 3 things have had the greatest influence on my life.  I hold on tight to God in this sometimes scary adventure we call life.  I continue to find myself in spite of the negative elements and because of the positive.  I have new hopes and dreams and I am beginning to redefine my life.  Thank you to my God and my friends for helping me along this path.

So how did I get to be the woman I am today?  
When did I begin to become my own person?
It started in a field in Delaware and has become so much more. 
Happy Reading
KathieyV:-)

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

The Journey....Hiring a Handyman

Ok, so now I find myself in a home with a yard and bunch of repairs and no "man" to help.  What to do.  If I come across a job I usually google the solution and see if there is any way I can do it myself. If not I know I need to ask for help.  My daughter has given me the contact info for a local handyman she has gotten positive feedback on his work so I think I will give him a call.
I found an article in the Readers Digest..."13 Things a Handyman Won't Tell You", I will share a few...

-Before you call me about your  clogged sink or shower try a plunger or Zip-It drain cleaning tool-

 I do have a few clogged drains in my home.  
I am headed over to amazon now to see if I can find this tool.
Found it.  I am going to order it and see how well it works.  I will let you know:-)
-Get your home inspected once a year-

I guess that would help in catching problems early and thus save you money in the long run.  I have never had it inspected.  Something to think about

-On a budget?  Ask if there is any way you can help out in exchange for a lower price.-

They suggest things like picking up supplies, cleaning up after the job or just helping out in general

-Do something with the dog.-
The suggestion is to get the dog out of the house completely while the handyman is at work.  I guess they don't want to hear a barking dog all day.  Makes sense to me.
I will be contacting the Handyman today. 
If you are in my boat with no help around the house try to find a handyman.  Ask around and find one through word of mouth.  I think that is the best way to find a good one.
Take care of yourself.  
We can do this!
KathieyV:-)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Huff Post Reading "7 Ways To Embrace Being On Your Own After Divorce"

I was doing a bit of reading from the Huff post, the divorce section.  I came across this article, "7 Ways To Embrace Being On Your Own After Divorce"  I like to try to apply at least part of my readings to my life so let's take a look and see how they apply to me now over 2 years since my X walked out.  My comments on her suggestions are in italics...I will choose 3...

Define who you are outside of marriage
In marriage, I would have to describe myself as a lady in "waiting".  Waiting to live my life.  Waiting on my husband.  Waiting for promises to be kept.  Waiting while he pursued his dreams and goals so that I could eventually work on my own.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  Now I would have to say I am doing.  I go out with friends, I plan trips, I am working on my blogs and no longer get made fun of for it.  I am doing my best to find myself and it feels good.

Get healthy. (And note that "healthy" doesn't mean losing a ton of weight.) 
     I need to do a better job with this one.  I am doing Zumba 2-3 times a week, but I need to add to my routine with weights and maybe yoga.
Halloween Zumba Party 2015
Take a solo trip. 
I have already done this and I hope to do much more.  My dream has always been to travel.  Local or far away, it does not matter.  I recently took a trip with the Road Scholars.  I drove 12 hours to get to my destination in the Finger Lake region of NY.  What a blast.  Met amazing people from all over, learned about the area from our guide and other speakers, and explored.  I loved it.  I can't wait to go on my next adventure.  I also began travel blogging.  This is becoming my passion.

Watkins Glenn Gorge 2015
Follow the link to Huff Post.  Check out the article and let me know what 3 apply to you.
I know it is a daily battle but hold on and keep moving.
God Bless!
KathieyV:-)