Beware The Narcissist-The Holidays and The Narcissist

Beware the Narcissist

When going through a divorce, many people realize for the first time, maybe in decades, that they were married to a narcissist. Sadly, most are not taught in school, or anywhere for that matter, what a narcissist is, so when confronted with narcissistic behavior, we may not be aware of the signs or potential abuse involved in a relationship with a narcissist. With that in mind, I will be doing a series on "Beware The Narcissist" to help us become more familiar with the typical behavior of a narcissist. Even if we are lucky enough to have not been in a narcissistic relationship, it is good to know what to look for to avoid such a relationship in the future.

(Remember I am not an expert. The information I have obtained I have read or have heard first hand from some who have had to deal with a narcissist.)

The Holidays and The Narcissist

I decided to do some reading on The Holidays and The Narcissist.  In my reading, I have found that the holidays hold triggers for many narcissists.  Most say it is a big trigger because suddenly, the holiday takes the limelight, and the narcissist is no longer the center of attention.  This is highly unsettling to a narcissist.  Narcissists often try to make themselves the center of attention during this time to counteract the lack of perceived attention they receive over the holidays.

Possible Narcissist's reactions to the holidays.

• They see it as a time to create drama to get the focus back on them
• Tell stories of why they are the victims to regain attention during the holiday.
• Feel a sense of envy that others have what they do not have during the holidays.  Many narcissists have a feeling of self-loathing, and they feel envious of those who are happy.
• They may discard or devalue those close to them during the holidays.
• They may try to turn the focus back to themselves by constant bragging.
• May attempt to sabotage the holiday to again bring focus back to themselves.

A Few Ways to Avoid Toxic Narcissism during the Holidays

• Ignore the bad behavior.
• Disengage from the bad behavior.
• Model good behavior in response to negative behavior.
• Stay focused on the good surrounding the holidays.
• Don't buy into their drama.
• If you can, walk away.
• If possible, avoid the narcissist during the holidays.
• Mentally prepare yourself.
• Create strong boundaries.

Happy Holidays and God Bless You On Your Journey!

KathieyV