tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76343826504792155212024-03-15T19:59:19.501-04:00My Road to Recovery after Divorce, The Pain. The Journey. The JoySurviving an Unwanted Separation and Divorce. My Story. My Faith. (kathieyvwriter@gmail.com)Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.comBlogger514125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-10767854765417636732024-03-04T08:00:00.000-05:002024-03-04T08:00:00.127-05:00Monthly Motivation "Trust God to Give You the Strength to Get Back up Again"<div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-3440441467691044860" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 0px;">Have you ever failed at anything? I have. Have you ever fallen down, either physically or figuratively, and felt you did not have the strength to keep on trying? I have. Have you ever felt lost/confused and just did not have the motivation even to try to get out of the hole you have dug for yourself or the energy to attempt to get out of the pit in which life has placed you? I have. I guess most of us have been in these situations. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeZGLKd2l8aaQHVFskc8-UGv7OSh4Cu1Yg-wiAoJI4a83siD9l5hsIOcQjuwMIjgYZTkKev7G6KzjSpqsKXr_pFgFf8liOeWPqks_H-5_CqpyeIHyuCEW9Nr2u9wfYrdm4KhLfMQxUDiriyaxM1zu-5_5XjHZd1vHuvtLlaPMD9Odl5MYf900z8bb8jg/s1080/7FCFE0BE-6512-4583-A299-F4039AD41742.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeZGLKd2l8aaQHVFskc8-UGv7OSh4Cu1Yg-wiAoJI4a83siD9l5hsIOcQjuwMIjgYZTkKev7G6KzjSpqsKXr_pFgFf8liOeWPqks_H-5_CqpyeIHyuCEW9Nr2u9wfYrdm4KhLfMQxUDiriyaxM1zu-5_5XjHZd1vHuvtLlaPMD9Odl5MYf900z8bb8jg/w640-h640/7FCFE0BE-6512-4583-A299-F4039AD41742.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-3440441467691044860" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-3440441467691044860" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 32px; margin: 0px;">But there is good news! It is a new day and can be a new beginning; we can get back up and keep on trying to be the best we can be. I find this is only possible with God's help. Here are a few sayings to help us pull ourselves up by our bootstraps no matter what is going on in our lives.<br /><div style="border-spacing: 0px; font-family: Times; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-spacing: 2px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">"This thing called failure is not the falling down but the staying down." </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-spacing: 2px; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">(Author unknown, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-spacing: 2px; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">at least to me.)</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOTDWT_BFn03ekS_wH7UJNftevkHgzSJBDhUqEvMpelchtiSueawyGIbgHRxTQzVnTqUs3bV2uq1ec4US49FvkBItI6N_sdy_bu_vgZ9Y37wlBLuQwtTwtBOfxWAm_zrN8Ed7jxA1LygE/s1600/DSCN8234.JPG" style="color: #0a719c; display: inline-block; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOTDWT_BFn03ekS_wH7UJNftevkHgzSJBDhUqEvMpelchtiSueawyGIbgHRxTQzVnTqUs3bV2uq1ec4US49FvkBItI6N_sdy_bu_vgZ9Y37wlBLuQwtTwtBOfxWAm_zrN8Ed7jxA1LygE/s640/DSCN8234.JPG" style="border: 0px; height: inherit; max-width: 100%;" width="577" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;">(I happen to know the person in the photo, and he did get up and had many triumphant sledding moments after this fall. He could have given up, but he tried again and was glad that he did:-)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Fall seven times, stand up eight.</span></i> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Japanese Proverb</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial";">Philippians 4:12-13</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial";">God Bless You On Your journey!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "arial";">KathieyV</span></span></div>
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Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-13203609385855906642024-03-01T08:00:00.000-05:002024-03-01T08:00:00.236-05:00How to Connect With People When You Travel SoloI love to travel. I enjoy exploring my home state of North Carolina and across the state lines to other areas of the world. Now that I am divorced I do travel alone. I figure if I wait for someone to go with me I may never go, so I take the gladly accept the challenge of a solo adventure. I do enjoy my time alone, but I also enjoy meeting new people on my travels. I consulted Google on just how to connect with others while on a solo travel adventure.<br />
On my Google search, I found that this is a popular topic. Some of the ideas are easy to do at a moments notice, and others take a bit of planning.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS04d1Jxk5r2-CJCRTbR9KeJSzhdRmFbO9w86Uf7UcTAVA1C2cLfyM6O5Q1_efkAEKq0rPGrlS_X1W9EqzNjU-qNwcUMdZy9-vXLnz3sIyMHXSwX3zwbmwk3dILI0yFLVvSVDMH-d9H2-h/s1600/How+to+meet+people.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="496" data-original-width="741" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS04d1Jxk5r2-CJCRTbR9KeJSzhdRmFbO9w86Uf7UcTAVA1C2cLfyM6O5Q1_efkAEKq0rPGrlS_X1W9EqzNjU-qNwcUMdZy9-vXLnz3sIyMHXSwX3zwbmwk3dILI0yFLVvSVDMH-d9H2-h/s400/How+to+meet+people.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><u>Lodging:</u></b> There were many suggestions on places to stay that may open the door to meeting new people. At an Airbnb, you would meet the host family; at a Bed and Breakfast, you would meet the owners and fellow travelers. Some folks meet others while staying at hotels while relaxing in the hotel lobby or at the hotel bar. Hostels were also highly recommended for meeting new friends.<br />
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<b><u>Tours:</u></b> Many towns and cities have organized tours. I found walking tours, bus tours, and day trips on my search. Tours may take some advanced planning but would be easy to do.<br />
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<b><u>Local Festivals:</u></b> Many feel that visiting a local festival is a great way to meet others.<br />
<br /><b style="text-decoration: underline;">Eat at the Bar: </b>When you go out for dinner, if your restaurant of choice has a bar, enjoy your meal there. You may find both travelers and locals at a restaurant bar. Instead of sitting alone at a table or booth where you may seem less approachable, the bar offers the opportunity for conversation.<br />
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<b><u>Meetup Groups:</u></b> Check out the Meetup groups in the area. I am a member of local Meetup, and they have endless events. I just checked out Meetups in New Bern, NC, because I am thinking about traveling there, and I found that they have many.<br />
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<b><u>Easy Ways to Make a New Friend:</u></b><br />
*Smile<br />
*Offer to take photos if you see the opportunity.<br />
*If you strike up a conversation, introduce yourself.<br />
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<b><u>Go to a Winery</u></b>: I say this based on experience. I met a nice man at a winery in the NC mountains. We were both enjoying a tasting and struck up a conversation.<br />
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<b><u>Travel with a Group:</u></b> I enjoyed a trip with the Road Scholars. Met some very nice people on our group journey.<br />
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I am sure there are many ways to meet others while on your solo travels. These are just a few based on my personal experience and the experience of others. Just be careful; most people are friendly, but a few crazies exist.<br />
I have decided to try out every one of the things listed above and just see what happens. I will update you on the experience.<br />
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How do you meet new people on your travels? I would love to know.</div>
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Happy Travels and Adventures!</div>
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Be safe and have Fun.</div>
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KathieyV:-)</div>
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<br />Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-2554929617372555772024-02-28T06:00:00.001-05:002024-02-28T06:00:00.124-05:00Beware the Narcissist: Quotes From Pinterest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I never really understood the meaning of Narcissism. There was no mention in primary or secondary school. I don’t remember the mention of it in my psych classes in nursing school. How can we protect ourselves from something we don’t know or understand? With that in mind, I will be doing a series of quotes from Pinterest to help us all better understand and protect ourselves from the narcissist.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #262626; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><u><b>The Beginning</b></u></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikAEqMkIgHaRreNwiPZneWgHT4Cr1dBx4X1c2N5CGIaEdZ96kByXqjdjRyCl6LSKTXAmH45jCywjjCtqpU2nT207Ti06ZgxKQIFabxBtSAKL6Yqf_AX4IReHbKZo_HyDpT-v2VFhcJiQU/s1600/336e33e94bfb88245196066452b3c2e2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="236" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikAEqMkIgHaRreNwiPZneWgHT4Cr1dBx4X1c2N5CGIaEdZ96kByXqjdjRyCl6LSKTXAmH45jCywjjCtqpU2nT207Ti06ZgxKQIFabxBtSAKL6Yqf_AX4IReHbKZo_HyDpT-v2VFhcJiQU/w266-h400/336e33e94bfb88245196066452b3c2e2.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
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<u><b>The Journey</b></u></div>
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The Joy</b></u></div>
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<span style="font-style: inherit;">KathieyV</span></div>
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(Not all divorces are a product of a narcissist but many are, and that is why I am doing this series)</div>
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Always remember God's promise. "I will never leave you or forsake you."</div>
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Thank you, God!</div>
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KathieyV</div>
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(Quotes were found on Pinterest)</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">I would love if you would check out my book on Amazon. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Just click on the image below and it will take you to the book..</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=httpkathieysmediamusings.blogspot.com-20&language=en_US&l=li3&o=1&a=1535591773" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" /><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Story-Divorce-Gods-Promise-Beginning/dp/1535591773?crid=14JBKJAGY6MOA&dchild=1&keywords=my+story+my+divorce+gods+promise&qid=1629289805&sprefix=my+story+my+divorce+gods+promise%2Caps%2C189&sr=8-3&linkCode=li3&tag=httpkathieysmediamusings.blogspot.com-20&linkId=d2b5420163924470b85481b1be92bbae&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_il" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1535591773&Format=_SL250_&ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=httpkathieysmediamusings.blogspot.com-20&language=en_US" /></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="https://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=httpkathieysmediamusings.blogspot.com-20&language=en_US&l=li3&o=1&a=1535591773" style="border: none; margin: 0px;" width="1" />Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-70234738517438548412024-02-23T09:00:00.002-05:002024-02-23T09:00:00.123-05:00The Joy-Finding Joy in the Journey. <div class="post-body-container" style="font-family: "EB Garamond", serif; font-size: 20px;">
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Joy in <i><u>Writing</u></i></div>
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<i><u>(<a href="http://kathieyvwriter.com/" style="color: #bf8b38; text-decoration: none;">kathieyvwriter.com</a>)</u></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZWN5qxQV-yg_rjxcFtnDKrFzUjNa4jgNrz7zc6q8By6rWXZD9iaqFhX7ZNDxMQ6GPTIOW3oKj9Q_-M8J4Nhemi01J0PgD0p0Aw5nhNwiLr8lE01STi_M0xvJ4zf_-R1_hrHUFlS7fyY/s1600/Untitled+design.jpg" style="color: #bf8b38; display: inline-block; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZWN5qxQV-yg_rjxcFtnDKrFzUjNa4jgNrz7zc6q8By6rWXZD9iaqFhX7ZNDxMQ6GPTIOW3oKj9Q_-M8J4Nhemi01J0PgD0p0Aw5nhNwiLr8lE01STi_M0xvJ4zf_-R1_hrHUFlS7fyY/s400/Untitled+design.jpg" style="border: 0px; height: auto; max-width: 100%;" width="400" /></a></div>
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Joy in <i><u>Adventures</u></i> with my <i><u>Family</u></i></div>
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<i><u>(<a href="http://northcarolinawithkathieyv.blogspot.com/2017/11/picking-pumpkins-at-unchurch-farm-in.html" style="color: #bf8b38; text-decoration: none;">Picking Pumpkins with the grandkids.) </a></u></i></div>
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Joy in <i><u>Photography</u></i> and playing with Photoshop</div>
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Joy in <i><u>God's Promises</u></i></div>
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Joy in <i><u>Exploring</u></i> new places</div>
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<a href="http://kathieysworld.blogspot.com/2017/11/a-visit-to-joyner-park-in-wake-forest-nc.html" style="color: #bf8b38; text-decoration: none;">(Joyner Park in Wake Forest NC)</a></div>
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There is joy to be found in the journey.</div>
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How are you finding joy?</div>
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KathieyV:-)</div>
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Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-49404591782890495642024-02-19T08:00:00.001-05:002024-02-19T08:00:00.345-05:00Dating After Divorce-Romance Scams, A Few Warning Signs.<p style="text-align: center;"> Dating After Divorce-The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly</p><p style="text-align: center;">Romance Scams</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgenAHGmQWQRvgWTvn0ZOtqHAPi5lBbEaPv07Sz3n1PgTCs0ZNNZF_EFMeKxh0P94U0CIrlDrwEb7f9zWUSM3RFCTzk_HUZLzUp4v-A0cBZKpxDuXJGPSemyfwi8YUOZ4csPk17EAM4Kql1TT9E_TywWAi1kDBCVAYJlZkfjniCgCxPRr3kt7larXY0Lcs/s800/0E75589D-AED4-41D3-AB7A-496ABE5D5611.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="512" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgenAHGmQWQRvgWTvn0ZOtqHAPi5lBbEaPv07Sz3n1PgTCs0ZNNZF_EFMeKxh0P94U0CIrlDrwEb7f9zWUSM3RFCTzk_HUZLzUp4v-A0cBZKpxDuXJGPSemyfwi8YUOZ4csPk17EAM4Kql1TT9E_TywWAi1kDBCVAYJlZkfjniCgCxPRr3kt7larXY0Lcs/w410-h640/0E75589D-AED4-41D3-AB7A-496ABE5D5611.png" width="410" /></a></div>Dating again after a divorce is an adventure. It can be wonderful, but it can quickly become the opposite. There are some people out there ready to take advantage of someone seeking to find a romantic relationship. Let's take a brief look at what a Romance scam is and a few potential warning signs to look for.<br /><p style="text-align: center;">First off, what is a Romance Scam?</p><p style="text-align: center;">According to Avast, a Romance Scam is...</p><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"A romance scam (or online dating scam) is when a fraudster </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>tricks someone into a fake romantic relationship."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">A scammer will scam any willing victim, but they tend to seek out people over 50, especially people recently divorced or widowed. But, they will go after anyone they think they can manipulate. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Here are a few warning signs...</div><div style="text-align: center;"><ul><li style="text-align: left;">They may have a very attractive profile photo. They often use stock photos or model photos.</li><li style="text-align: left;">They may have very few photos.</li><li style="text-align: left;">They don't live or work near you.</li><li style="text-align: left;">The online relationship moves fast. They may proclaim their love after a couple of conversations.</li><li style="text-align: left;">They may make promises before you even meet, like marriage or moving in together.</li><li style="text-align: left;">They may quickly try to move you off the site in order to get more personal information.</li><li style="text-align: left;">They avoid video chats.</li><li style="text-align: left;">Asking for money before you have even met is a huge red flag.</li></ul><div style="text-align: left;">These are just a few possible warning signs to be aware of. If you are dating using a dating site, be cautious. Try to weed out the bad and have nice times with the good. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-67414799758773117292024-02-16T08:00:00.001-05:002024-02-16T08:00:00.136-05:00Divorce in the News-February 2024<p> Every few weeks or so, I check to see what is happening in Divorce News. I search "divorce" in Google and put a time frame on the search of that current week/month to give me an overview of what is happening in divorce news. The trending news is typically celebrity news.</p><p>Yes, in the news, it is the celebrities that get all the attention. I am not looking for articles that are celebrity-focused. I am searching for articles that can help regular people look for answers as they navigate the difficult road of divorce. If you are looking for celebrity divorce news, here are a couple in the news to take a look at. </p><p></p><a href="https://people.com/sofia-vergara-and-joe-manganiello-finalize-divorce-7963388">Sofía Vergara and Joe Manganiello Finalize Their Divorce 7 Months After Initial </a>Filing- Sorry to hear of this divorce. They were only married for seven years. I like her a lot; I don't know who he is.<div><br /></div><div><a href="https://people.com/bobbi-althoff-breaks-silence-after-husband-cory-files-divorce-8572153">Bobbi Althoff Breaks Silence After Husband Cory Files for Divorce: ‘I Will Always Love Him’ </a>- More Celebrities I am unfamiliar with.<br /><br /><div><br /><div><div style="text-align: center;">February 2024</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwPC3ijl8s40DONec1cem7CTrhU6le9lUjDWwZfIRdl6CmhwTF4oD_bwK1qIhRW0U-dI24SRsYQY-yTVGtjWFD8s7ogfqcxW3cGqn9uUPftfuUySGr6tOBFH3EGcvn5oHy3vg-NRdtUnbvmB12dZ2cxKtmdF2ymmEE8K5EYafOtw2uIFPBOo7pcnjYD_o/s1500/5888C934-469A-45C4-8B00-6A5F503F28F2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwPC3ijl8s40DONec1cem7CTrhU6le9lUjDWwZfIRdl6CmhwTF4oD_bwK1qIhRW0U-dI24SRsYQY-yTVGtjWFD8s7ogfqcxW3cGqn9uUPftfuUySGr6tOBFH3EGcvn5oHy3vg-NRdtUnbvmB12dZ2cxKtmdF2ymmEE8K5EYafOtw2uIFPBOo7pcnjYD_o/w426-h640/5888C934-469A-45C4-8B00-6A5F503F28F2.png" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="post-body-container"><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">(Click the title to go to the article.)</div><div><span style="font-family: Lora, serif;">1-<a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/01/28/gray-divorce-more-americans-split-after-50/72337078007/">Gray Divorce Rates Have Doubled.</a> It is a costly move, especially for women. I find this very sad but true. Many of us did not have a choice in the matter, so we had to deal with the fallout.</span></div><div><br /></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><span style="font-family: Lora, serif;">2<a href="https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/2024/01/26/no-fault-divorce-law-oklahoma-senator-wants-to-end/72354142007/">-New Oklahoma senator files bill that would end no-fault divorces in the state</a>. I really don't know how I feel about the no-fault divorce.</span> I guess I am ok with it as long as people can still get the child support and alimony they deserve.</div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><br /></div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><span style="font-family: Lora, serif;">3-</span><a href="https://www.quickenloans.com/learn/buying-a-home-if-youre-legally-separated-or-divorced">7 Steps To Buying A House After A Divorce Or Legal Separation</a>-Here you will find some helpful tips to help you as you buy a home after a separation and divorce. </div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><span style="font-family: Lora, serif;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: Lora, serif;">4-</span><a href="https://www.brides.com/divorce-a-list-of-pros-and-cons-1102923">The Pros and Cons of Divorce Versus Marriage, According to the Experts</a>-Interesting and common sense pros and cons of getting divorced or staying married.</div><div><br /></div>5-<a href="https://www.cnet.com/personal-finance/taxes/taxes-2024-which-parent-gets-to-claim-the-child-tax-credit-after-divorce/">Taxes 2024: Which Parent Gets to Claim the Child Tax Credit After Divorce?</a> This article may help give you some direction if you are dealing with taxes and dependents after your divorce. My kids were adults when I went through this, so I did not have this to worry about.</div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><i><br /></i></div><div class="post-body entry-content float-container" id="post-body-5597007710522166824" style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.7;"><div style="text-align: center;">That's it for now, for divorce in the news.</div><div style="font-family: Lora, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</div></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div></div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-52650093658685111202024-02-14T09:00:00.001-05:002024-02-14T09:00:00.128-05:00Journal Prompt-Write About a Dream You Remember and How that Dream Made You Feel<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh88xoaI96G8PgIO5KNqkV1auIvf2Yxj6IKOU8C7CBycnGnnK9-tdiwtCVZbh9N6rfZ4PuAY3QorLK0Jvxw_W6A5cmr53BXFjMZFjcyfHDROHik2qXH0jg94e7xAcw2aIsnv5t563IzBAA/s1080/fullsizeoutput_47a0.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh88xoaI96G8PgIO5KNqkV1auIvf2Yxj6IKOU8C7CBycnGnnK9-tdiwtCVZbh9N6rfZ4PuAY3QorLK0Jvxw_W6A5cmr53BXFjMZFjcyfHDROHik2qXH0jg94e7xAcw2aIsnv5t563IzBAA/w640-h640/fullsizeoutput_47a0.jpeg" width="640" /></a></p><p> I have lived long enough to have had thousands of dreams. I have had my share of nightmares and also my share of fun and memorable dreams. I can remember themes in my dreams that recur, such as being in a play with hundreds of people in attendance, and I forget my lines, and I can't find my script. I sometimes dream that I need to shower, and I search desperately for shampoo and soap, and someone always takes it before I can get to it. </p><p>My mom had a recurring dream that she would speak of often. This dream was based on a house she would pass on her travels. I remember my mom showing me this house. It was a white home on a hill. Mom said, in the dream, she would enter the front door of this house. As she entered the house, she was welcomed with joy and hugs from many people. About midway through her dream, she realizes that everyone in the house had died some time ago. Mom said this dream gave her comfort that she would be greeted on the other side of this life.</p><p>I had two dreams as a child that have stuck with me. One was of a faith focus. Where I walk down the stairs in the middle of the night, I open the front door, and on the yard is the full nativity scene. I was welcomed into this event, and it was amazing.</p><p>The one dream that was so real that when I woke up, I wondered if it happened. It was a dream about my brother Bruce who had Down's Syndrome. I was probably in second grade when I had this dream. </p><p>Growing up, I was aware of the stares and comments directed toward Bruce. These comments would upset me. In the dream, I remember clearly that Bruce came up to me, and he was changed. He looked the same, but he was different. </p><p>Bruce gave me a sweet, confident hug. I remember he smelled like baby powder. Then Bruce spoke. He no longer talked in a way that was difficult to understand; his speech was now clear and articulate.</p><p>Bruce said God had taken him to heaven, and now he was "perfect," that is the word he used. I cried with such joy as I held him.</p><p>This dream warms my heart to this day. I am sure that Bruce is "perfect" now that he is in heaven, and I will look forward to seeing him someday.</p><p style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</p><div><br /></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-37373846401489908412024-02-12T08:00:00.001-05:002024-02-12T08:00:00.142-05:00Quote-A Quote by the Dalai Lama on Inner Peace<p style="text-align: center;"> <span style="text-align: center;">A Quote by the Dalai Lama... </span></p><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Dalai Lama</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxu_JMdMBh88aDDuxhNGsMlVhn8Jd3i6VuO0fOZ8_1zRZmDCfg4Mc5IHCq7JkzXRYHd5RcFIZk4OOADNgSuXVhioWoazkYVcOs7mBDVpe5MyQa9ZpYGTc0u7DQiMzyffaSkM2Hs4fOKduRsIFPs6zYxeGUS5oIM0KMs7iH_0GL3yLMo8pNG1vd5713Mrc/s2000/E4E6FDCD-0D1D-4550-82F4-4448128E8177.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxu_JMdMBh88aDDuxhNGsMlVhn8Jd3i6VuO0fOZ8_1zRZmDCfg4Mc5IHCq7JkzXRYHd5RcFIZk4OOADNgSuXVhioWoazkYVcOs7mBDVpe5MyQa9ZpYGTc0u7DQiMzyffaSkM2Hs4fOKduRsIFPs6zYxeGUS5oIM0KMs7iH_0GL3yLMo8pNG1vd5713Mrc/w640-h512/E4E6FDCD-0D1D-4550-82F4-4448128E8177.png" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Another way to phrase this is to not let someone else steal our peace of mind.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>We have all been in situations where words have been spoken or actions have been taken against us. We have all walked away from an event or a confrontation that has rattled us to the point that it is difficult to move on without it bothering us in some way. Sometimes, this may be so disturbing that we dwell on the occurrence, unable to move past what has cast a shadow on our peace of mind.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Ways to regain our peace of mind...our inner peace...</div><div><br /></div><div>*Try to get perspective on the trigger that caused your emotion. </div><div>*Try to identify the emotion you are feeling. Is it hurt, anger, resentment, or something else?</div><div>*Acknowledge your emotions and attempt to understand why you feel like you do.</div><div>*Try to stop your mind from obsessing over the situation and focus your mind on something positive.</div><div>*Avoid the situation or person that hurt you if you can.</div><div>*Attempt to live in the present not dwelling on the past. Although, we should learn from the past.</div><div>*Stop kicking yourself about the situation. If it was not your fault, don't blame yourself. If you are partially to blame, accept the responsibility for your actions.</div><div>*Learn from the experience, and do not seek revenge. (If it was something that happened where you now need legal help, I would seek justice).</div><div>*Move on by releasing your pain and your hurt.</div><div>*Focus on all the positive things in life.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div><div><br /></div><p></p>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-16382314587383044372024-02-05T08:00:00.001-05:002024-02-05T08:00:00.138-05:00Monthly Motivation-Memories<p> <i style="text-align: center;">Memories</i></p><div style="text-align: center;">"Something remembered from the past, a recollection."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDctP_dwzss_Sa2uWoVrYNRbwxMrMDmeK5BfXyYSCTFt1hPevZbhODdM1fSFhiguEBUoc680gYzApimdaSVvfcLJ9-OADuFAj16Uh36samv7YkyP0osjH_eX3uRpnTf_TjJNX-BrwDMIK_O48WQYi1PtCCFm1mERLrxVepWuICOuuwHwg-hwTbodYD19M/s1080/448365DA-2676-4EDF-92B5-1A07C19B3F48.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDctP_dwzss_Sa2uWoVrYNRbwxMrMDmeK5BfXyYSCTFt1hPevZbhODdM1fSFhiguEBUoc680gYzApimdaSVvfcLJ9-OADuFAj16Uh36samv7YkyP0osjH_eX3uRpnTf_TjJNX-BrwDMIK_O48WQYi1PtCCFm1mERLrxVepWuICOuuwHwg-hwTbodYD19M/w640-h640/448365DA-2676-4EDF-92B5-1A07C19B3F48.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I remember reading a book titled, "Before I Go to Sleep" by S. J. Watson. As I am reading, I am always looking for quotes that touch an emotional chord in me. The storyline of the book is centered around a woman who has lost her memory. She regains bits and pieces of her memory throughout her day, and then she falls asleep at night and loses it all again. The quote I underlined and that touched me the most was this "A ripple across the surface of the lake of memory." </div><div><br /></div><div>There have been significant changes in my life over the years, and it has not been easy. I do my best to give it to God. I don't allow myself to think much about my past because I tend to gravitate to the pain. After reading this quote, I decided to let myself remember. I allowed myself to remember the good.<br /><br />I remember Dave. As my Dad was dying, he said, "Dave, take care of your sister," and he did. We became close, more so then we had in our childhood years. We talked on the phone almost daily. We shared stories, laughed, and cried together. We spoke on the phone nearly every day. We went on outings. He took me up in his plane, which was a bit unnerving but fun. I remember he had to tie the plane door shut because it kept opening, but the fear was worth it to be with my brother that I loved. We went out for dinner; we went out for coffee. I was so proud of him, of all he had overcome. I love him and miss him dearly.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFyEvihIt51Zfscm6yhG5acgXKCoedHo8HvJWaaxip6evGpGSPysFJNgE2iLXRBxZInAZD6XyN9BkXRHja0lBdAZy4M6IXsEH1NmrX9Maj0vbLf3zdX44B8pbpVkGUZ8d6ciDGufiC7A/s1600/IMG_1919.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKFyEvihIt51Zfscm6yhG5acgXKCoedHo8HvJWaaxip6evGpGSPysFJNgE2iLXRBxZInAZD6XyN9BkXRHja0lBdAZy4M6IXsEH1NmrX9Maj0vbLf3zdX44B8pbpVkGUZ8d6ciDGufiC7A/s640/IMG_1919.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />Mom and Dad. I do miss them both. I remember going to Hawaii with Dad. I remember walking through the Va. woods with him also, that is where he seemed to be the most at peace. I remember the last movie I watched with Dad..."The Birds." We held hands, knowing this would be the last film we would see together because he was dying of pancreatic cancer. </div><div><br />Mom and I used to have good times. We would read books at the same time and share our thoughts. We played card games, played Rummy Cube, and watched movies. Mom had a great sense of humor and would come out with the craziest things and make me laugh. She was an amazing woman. I wish she had been more appreciated in life. She did not have it easy, but she was such an inspiration to those who knew her.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirV-XVQJrJspqn7owWWqEbSfo_bdZp9jE864j_kIBdc61YqQKoEYoAzsNtCLPEO8TbQwc_2Po_k5CffypnAr9VicvXns-1md8m4qMr9JtB8Wywk5om4oDZwHwh9lQgSJzycmqpjUi8jss/s1600/Hansen1913.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirV-XVQJrJspqn7owWWqEbSfo_bdZp9jE864j_kIBdc61YqQKoEYoAzsNtCLPEO8TbQwc_2Po_k5CffypnAr9VicvXns-1md8m4qMr9JtB8Wywk5om4oDZwHwh9lQgSJzycmqpjUi8jss/s640/Hansen1913.jpg" width="510" /></a></div><br />"Thank you, God, for our memories. Help us learn from our experiences. Help us to remember and find peace and joy in the gift of the good memories. Please take our memories and use them, both good and bad, to help us become more like you. Give us peace in our journey, knowing that you are beside us."</div><div><br /></div><div>I love you, Dave, and Cherish your memory. I love you, Mom and Dad, and I miss you!<br /><div style="text-align: center;">Allow yourself to think back and enjoy a good memory. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I hope it makes you smile:-)</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-88719727194928264082024-02-02T08:30:00.001-05:002024-02-02T08:30:00.128-05:00What the Heck Is-A Series-What The Heck is a "No Fault Divorce"<p style="text-align: center;">As we keep going in this series, "What The Heck Is? I thought we would take a look at a term that keeps popping up...</p><p style="text-align: center;">What the Heck it a "No Fault Divorce"? <span face="Roboto, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px;"> </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBA08w5eH1RLO_tx0vQnspHBBeeBWRuBELuH28-N65bEwHgU5CFkburR9NHfWaYsLmcQ7_sToR2XQVC8o0-J6z2Hao0_MyRy8aNoaYvrfXGsoqdGcguWNtrLgSZGJe2iiUxsGZHpsMNPmbi2dcNDBC_XNzGWDxEA6DOQIhKhnBNQaW36x6NheqfQvFO4Y/s2000/E8AD6802-F026-4CAA-BA13-A9371FD574E0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBA08w5eH1RLO_tx0vQnspHBBeeBWRuBELuH28-N65bEwHgU5CFkburR9NHfWaYsLmcQ7_sToR2XQVC8o0-J6z2Hao0_MyRy8aNoaYvrfXGsoqdGcguWNtrLgSZGJe2iiUxsGZHpsMNPmbi2dcNDBC_XNzGWDxEA6DOQIhKhnBNQaW36x6NheqfQvFO4Y/w640-h512/E8AD6802-F026-4CAA-BA13-A9371FD574E0.png" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p><span face="Roboto, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px;">Here is a definition from <a href="https://www.findlaw.com/family/divorce/divorce-glossary.html">Findlaw</a>...</span></p><i>No-fault divorce. A petitioner does not have to prove the other spouse did anything wrong when ending their marriage. A divorce is filed because of “irreconcilable differences", or the marriage is said to be “irretrievably broken." This is the most common type of divorce.</i><p>The way I understand it is that the No-Fault Divorce allows you to divorce for no reason at all. Luckily, in my state of NC, even though it is a "no-fault" divorce state, you can still file for alimony and child support in the right situations. </p><p>A no-fault divorce does not mean no one is at fault. This type of divorce makes the process simple because nothing has to be proven in court. Grounds for a No-Fault Divorce could include an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, irreconcilable differences, and incompatibility.</p><p>Even though it is considered "no-fault," you can still have a Contested and Uncontested No-Fault Divorce. The contested version is when the couple is not in agreement and may need compensation such as child support and spousal support. The Uncontested no-fault divorce is just like it sounds; both parties agree to divorce without the courts needing to get involved. </p><p>Pros of the No-Fault Divorce</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>It is simple</li><li>It is private</li><li>Less conflict</li><li>Lower costs</li><li>Less emotionally charged</li><li>Causes less stress for kids</li></ul><div>Cons of a No-Fault Divorce</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Lack of accountability</li><li>Takes longer</li><li>Spousal support is less likely to occur</li><li>Some would say it Undermines Marriage making it too easy to dissolve a marriage</li></ul><div>I think there are times for a no-fault divorce. I also believe that, more often than not, there is blame, and I don't think that should be ignored. </div></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div><p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>https://www.gnlaw.co.uk/news/no-fault-divorce-pros-and-cons/</p><p>https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/divorce-family-law/5-benefits-of-a-no-fault-divorce/</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-26543551583332068752024-01-31T09:00:00.001-05:002024-01-31T09:00:00.140-05:00Beware the Narcissist-What is Narcissistic Mirroring? How it Works.<h3 style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Oswald;">Beware The Narcissist!</span></h3><p>When going through a divorce, many people realize for the first time, maybe in decades, that they were married to a narcissist. Sadly, most are not taught in school, or anywhere for that matter, what a narcissist is, so when confronted with narcissistic behavior, we may not be aware of the signs or potential abuse involved in a relationship with a narcissist. With that in mind, I will be doing a series on "Beware The Narcissist" to help us become more familiar with the typical behavior of a narcissist. Even if we are lucky enough to have not been in a narcissistic relationship, it is good to know what to look for to avoid such a relationship in the future.</p><p>I have read a lot about narcissism since I went through a divorce. Why? Because many women going through a divorce are dealing with a narcissist. I think it is good to learn from their experience and our own due diligence to know what to look for so that we can avoid a relationship with a narcissist in the future.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Oswald; font-size: medium;">Narcissistic Mirroring </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtSqlqel6A_8DI8wvyhE7G6CuMOCHPo8G8w35QpQ1bqmnxjLpeNuOOIzF0Ert7G2VH20j1IsN0mmHqcgWxGJFI4Yvb3fdZdP35Dfyu4OkNegV3ULfy0xLOXBD79TSAnjGgYnvfDXeS1-JBZ9rao8GZe0wLBuI4WaXFx_UFC_iKPOLx1uwmT59wH0BNYNs/s2000/2A078E67-FB0D-4A3D-9168-23D5DC53B05E.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtSqlqel6A_8DI8wvyhE7G6CuMOCHPo8G8w35QpQ1bqmnxjLpeNuOOIzF0Ert7G2VH20j1IsN0mmHqcgWxGJFI4Yvb3fdZdP35Dfyu4OkNegV3ULfy0xLOXBD79TSAnjGgYnvfDXeS1-JBZ9rao8GZe0wLBuI4WaXFx_UFC_iKPOLx1uwmT59wH0BNYNs/w426-h640/2A078E67-FB0D-4A3D-9168-23D5DC53B05E.png" width="426" /></a></div><p>In many of the articles I have read about narcissism, they mention "Mirroring." I think it is time to understand just what mirroring entails. Let's take a look.</p><p>Here is a definition of mirroring I found on <a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-mirroring.html#:~:text=Narcissistic%20mirroring%20is%20a%20manipulation,feelings%2C%20interests%2C%20or%20behaviors.">Simply Psychology</a>.</p><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Narcissistic mirroring is a manipulation tactic used by narcissistic individuals to create a false sense of connection with another person by mimicking their thoughts, feelings, interests, or behaviors."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mirroring can be used in a good way. In social situations, it is normal to mirror someone to gain rapport and build a connection. We all are programmed to mirror but in a good way, whereas when mirroring is used by a narcissist, it is used to manipulate and build their narcissist supply. The good and bad in mirroring are geared around intent. Normal mirroring is done in an unconscious way, but narcissist mirroring is done with the intent to use or self-serve. They may use mirroring to win you over.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is what the <a href="https://happyproject.in/narcissistic-mirroring/">Happiness Blog</a> has to say about mirroring...</div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"Mirroring can capture the innocent victim’s attention to such a degree </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>that they are left in awe of the person mirroring them."</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It can be very difficult to tell if you are being mirrored. Narcissists have become very good at this practice, so it may be very subtle. Here are a few things that you may notice if you are being mirrored</div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Mimicking your body language</li><li>Mimicking your voice intonation</li><li>Mimicking your speech patterns</li><li>Mimicking your gestures</li><li>Repeating your words back to you</li><li>Copying your facial expressions</li><li>They hang on your every word</li><li>Your interests also are their interests</li><li>They may mirror any tragedy in your life as though they had to face it too</li><li>They may mirror your belief system</li></ul></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;">So why do they mirror? The narcissist uses mirroring to gain your trust so that they can use you as a form of supply. A Narcissist can continue to mirror you as long as you can offer them some type of reward or supply. As soon as you are of no use to them for their needs, this mirroring more then likely will stop.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If you realize you are being mirrored, then be cautious. This could be just a natural relationship builder, or you could be the target of a narcissist. Do your research and protect yourself. If you think you may be dealing with a narcissist, I would suggest that you run away as quickly as possible.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God, Bless You On Your Journey!</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><i><br /></i><br /><p></p><p><br /></p>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-35348641613072232852024-01-29T08:30:00.001-05:002024-01-29T08:30:00.128-05:00Ask The Divorce Lady-If You Could Go Back to the Day Your EX Asked You to Marry Him What Would You Do? Run!!!!<div style="text-align: center;">I was asked the other day...</div><div style="text-align: center;">If you could go back in time to the day your ex asked you to marry him, what would you do? </div><div><div style="text-align: center;">My Answer...RUN!!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCY2KVmMoOHv1koPZ6Q6x-WUTHaCrW6kHDizp_bjjiTVIposFHEmbOoJ8vSevgBEWTfwz3edkuRtJZHpkDNlaQIafjJsNoHdUO__1BdZ9tsYSwelIvG3oJlf-DFD8U3ItDbgwsRGVSg8Vptb8U9g6o2aTao_5rnGt4CoOdQFArsMxWNJyRNXGh1FNtx1g/s1500/10DB5E2B-7915-4543-BF08-5437B5FC0ABE.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCY2KVmMoOHv1koPZ6Q6x-WUTHaCrW6kHDizp_bjjiTVIposFHEmbOoJ8vSevgBEWTfwz3edkuRtJZHpkDNlaQIafjJsNoHdUO__1BdZ9tsYSwelIvG3oJlf-DFD8U3ItDbgwsRGVSg8Vptb8U9g6o2aTao_5rnGt4CoOdQFArsMxWNJyRNXGh1FNtx1g/w426-h640/10DB5E2B-7915-4543-BF08-5437B5FC0ABE.png" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div>I guess we all know what we would do in retrospect, and we can't go back in time to correct what happened in our past. If he were to ask me that same question today, I would run even faster because I know the kind of life I had in the past. That brings us to an important question...What are the pros and cons of taking your ex back after a breakup? If you were treated badly, the question is, do people change?</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>True change does not happen overnight, and it takes a lot of work.</li><li>Many times, there is a sincere promise to change, but over time, that promise may be forgotten.</li><li>Think about how you felt in that relationship. Do you really want to go back, knowing they may not change?</li><li>According to Qura, only 1% of narcissists actually change.</li><li>It has to be your ex's decision to attempt to change, and insistence that they change from someone else will not make that happen.</li><li>An abusive man may have a twisted sense of right and wrong.</li><li>It is difficult to return to a relationship where trust is broken, such as through infidelity. </li></ul><div>I do agree that people can change. I also think that it takes real determination and the willingness to admit they were wrong before they can even begin to change. I also think that we have to analyze our own psychology before we step back through a door into a place where we have been damaged.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you considering returning to a less-than-happy marriage, I would say pray long and hard about your decision. Please be careful.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</div><div style="text-align: center;">Kathiey V</div>
<br /></div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-76291072478629403192024-01-26T08:00:00.001-05:002024-01-26T08:00:00.131-05:00Divorce Diversion-Let's Have Fun With Daily Holidays<p> Let's try to forget about the pain we may be experiencing while going through a divorce. Let's instead look for the good and try to find some joy. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8jjW34tHu_NxOwIir10UW7_SsS4Wn48Vyv7Nv595fn-LsvtI7X3ibe4Ve-3DlEqqv64o5NXp4hez8rJAU5yCyZBVzUF9XfcLFAjRhwBte7L9tAtFqTxZQNLASS6XLapc_3d_sT0VHzexIf1khINjX69GOH62BUYStMTphaTAv8tjNeZmvbA5Opj851kE/s2000/E3A1020C-BEED-4398-BEF4-BF5C3C793312.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8jjW34tHu_NxOwIir10UW7_SsS4Wn48Vyv7Nv595fn-LsvtI7X3ibe4Ve-3DlEqqv64o5NXp4hez8rJAU5yCyZBVzUF9XfcLFAjRhwBte7L9tAtFqTxZQNLASS6XLapc_3d_sT0VHzexIf1khINjX69GOH62BUYStMTphaTAv8tjNeZmvbA5Opj851kE/w426-h640/E3A1020C-BEED-4398-BEF4-BF5C3C793312.png" width="426" /></a></div>I remember so clearly the beginning of my divorce experience. I remember my ex leaving without warning. I remember the pain. I remember the confusion. I remember lying in bed in the fetal position. I remember crying so much that it became my daily norm. I also remember trying to find beauty in the pain. I remember forcing myself to see my life as an adventure when all I wanted to do was disappear. <div><br /></div><div>I recently started a new blog. The focus is the many daily holidays that we can celebrate. I invite you to check out my new site and sign up for my newsletter. I will focus on a holiday for each day of the year, giving the history behind the holiday, a few fun facts, and ways to celebrate said holiday. I started this January 1st, and I am having such fun with it.</div><div><br /></div><div>My blog is called <a href="https://celebrateandhavefunwithkathiey.blogspot.com">Celebrate and Have Fun With Kathiey</a>. Today is National Peanut Brittle Day...What fun:-)</div><div><br /></div><div>Check out the blog and sign up for my newsletters, which will give you ways to celebrate each holiday. You don't have to celebrate every holiday, but pick one or two and just have fun with it.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You on Your Journey</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div><div><br /></div><div><br /><p><br /></p></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-36182622211140494872024-01-24T08:00:00.001-05:002024-01-24T08:00:00.122-05:00Journal Prompt #4-"Describe Your Best Ever Snow Day"<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Journal Prompt for a Snowy Day</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">If you are going through a divorce or have been through a divorce, I have found that journaling is a helpful tool for healing. There is so much to write about in our lives, but today, I thought we could go down memory lane and keep it light. Let's share a snow day.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Are you hoping for snow this Christmas Season? I am, but here in NC, we have been in the 70s, even in December. I can dream of snowy days to come and reflect on snowy days from my past. With that in mind, let's "Describe Our Best Snow Day Ever."</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrhl1AXg9a0T_mNQt1uDchxqgwmLH6gkaNUQAyQU6-If4EEZF2RZxjZZtDye14EurSH8hbrwOQiNawsqvsDB3kc7MDC-dOOPr_ZDCy2vA2QcaQEv4DGyWuetSnZdbdM-HRJDVwok-JFek-YbWu-IYc_6F82onu-uf78Vx79ObrSlk-HwqqQ1TbTSIEWjM/s1080/0EA1A86C-C3B0-49BE-B31C-567DC6CC969A.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrhl1AXg9a0T_mNQt1uDchxqgwmLH6gkaNUQAyQU6-If4EEZF2RZxjZZtDye14EurSH8hbrwOQiNawsqvsDB3kc7MDC-dOOPr_ZDCy2vA2QcaQEv4DGyWuetSnZdbdM-HRJDVwok-JFek-YbWu-IYc_6F82onu-uf78Vx79ObrSlk-HwqqQ1TbTSIEWjM/w640-h640/0EA1A86C-C3B0-49BE-B31C-567DC6CC969A.png" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p style="font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">As a child growing up in Pennsylvania, I remember that we loved our snow days. My parents would prepare for snow by putting up snow fences to place the snow drifts where they wanted them. I think this made them feel some control over the impending blizzards. My dad would also put snow chains on the car tires during the snowy season. As kids, we prepped our sleds and kept our snow attire handy so we would be ready at any moment to build snowmen, construct snow forts, and sled down the hill from our house to our Uncle Leslie and Aunt Charlotte's house. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">I remember a snow day when my daughters were still at home in my adult life. I don't recall what year it was or how old the kids were, but I know we had a blast. The snow came down hard and heavy that snow day and seemed to go on forever. In NC, they are not the best at snow removal, so we knew school would be closed for some time. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;">Luckily we did not lose power during the storm. We spent our week sleeping in and playing in the snow. We hiked in the snow, threw snowballs, and built snowmen. When the cold became too bitter, we would head into the warm house, make hot chocolate, and play cards throughout the evening. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;">Best Snow Day Ever!</span></p><p><span face="Roboto, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px; text-align: center;"> KathieyV</span> </p>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-18270212198631369402024-01-22T08:00:00.001-05:002024-01-22T08:00:00.242-05:00Guest Post from Huff Post. "What Smart Women Do After Divorce" by Alison Patton<div><div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; direction: ltr; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;">I like a look at articles I find on divorce and see how I can relate them to my life. Join me as I look at a divorce-related writing I found in the media.</div></div><div><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQCdXLMFpIjfOqFptArTStoQMLxZ__pHXuQCoThCV72XNzW_6dEi_pY-xX0qdl9nSl2raW8RiJVk5K-e79siu88lL_cC39lGsBowcxs9xt72a_qRnHiL79IaDvD6m-WlqBKvLzYf5UIVE3cskhWN1agD0femhX3VpldMQj72yhB06e2Cvr0D8Dg6z8/s2000/626BD694-F0D5-4F1B-808E-4A6633BF6745.png" style="font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQCdXLMFpIjfOqFptArTStoQMLxZ__pHXuQCoThCV72XNzW_6dEi_pY-xX0qdl9nSl2raW8RiJVk5K-e79siu88lL_cC39lGsBowcxs9xt72a_qRnHiL79IaDvD6m-WlqBKvLzYf5UIVE3cskhWN1agD0femhX3VpldMQj72yhB06e2Cvr0D8Dg6z8/w640-h512/626BD694-F0D5-4F1B-808E-4A6633BF6745.png" width="640" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span style="color: #333333;">Found this article on Huff Post. This is one of my favorite divorce sites. Hope you enjoy the article. My comments will be in red</span><span style="color: #990000;"> </span><span style="color: #333333;">Be sure to leave your own comments. I would love to know what you think.</span></span></span></div>
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<i><a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-smart-women-do-after_b_1307356">"What Smart Women Do After Divorce"</a></i> By Alison Patton</div><div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; direction: ltr; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;">Here is a quote from the article...</div>
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"Why do some women do well after divorce while others get stuck?" a divorcing client asked me, confronting her worries head-on. "I want to be happy again. I want to rely on myself and not be afraid of the future. I can't make it without his support, but it's tough being tied together for so many years through the kids and the money."</i></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><i>Indeed, financial entanglement is a double-edged sword. Moving on is much harder for women (and men) who remain connected via a custody share, child support, or alimony. How do you get closure when the contact and financial dependency continue? What's the key to regaining your independence and confidence?</i></span></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Smart women make that mental shift from victim to survivor, and they take the necessary steps to get there fully. </em></div><div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #990000;">(I forced myself early on to see myself as a survivor. Although it took me 10 years to completely heal. Seeing myself as a survivor early on helped me on my road to recovery. I think everyone has their own time frame. Everyones grieving process is unique, and you can't put a time limit on it)</span></span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#2: Accept the Economic Reality of Divorce</strong></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The smartest women come to terms with the reduced lifestyle they have after divorce. They reaffirm their priorities or commit to changing their lifestyle. They do not rely on their ex-husband as their long-term financial solution, nor do they see "finding another man" as the solution.</em></div>
<div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">This is a complex process for many going through a divorce. Many of us have been married for decades and have not planned a future outside our marriage, so it is starting over again for many. This has been a process for me. </span></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#3: Develop a 10-Year Financial Plan</strong></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Smart women take charge of their finances during and after divorce. They hire a financial planner or an accountant to review and organize their finances and map out spending and goals for the next decade. Although daunting at first, this step is immensely empowering.</em></div>
<div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">This is a process because most of us have never had to develop this plan, although we must do so.</span></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"># 4: Repeat After Me: "I Cannot Change My Ex"</strong></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Smart women recognize they can't change their ex-husband. They pick their battles, they let go of issues that don't really matter or can't be changed, and they accept with grace and maturity the general unpleasantness of an ongoing custody share -- knowing this is just the reality of divorce.</em></div>
<div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">As much as I wanted to change my ex, I knew this was impossible, so I did not even try.</span></div>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">#5: Focus on the Future, Commit to Growth and Introspection, And<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Build a Relationship with Yourself</strong></div>
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<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Smart women channel their energies post-divorce into examining their life, their goals, their mistakes and how they can learn from the past. Instead of jumping into another serious relationship (or spending their time complaining about their ex), they focus on their own life issues. They redefine their priorities and discover what's meaningful to them. They mature fully into themselves as women whose identity is not tied to the role of mother or wife.</em></div><div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">I agree we have to reexamine our lives and make a plan to move on to developing new goals. I also agree we should avoid jumping into a new relationship. This could be like a bandaid hiding the wound that lies beneath. We should take our time and heal before seeking a serious relationship.</span></em></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLniTDoZbQSfSJqIX0BQf21T3-IEh97RMOFv7DtCXGU6aawwkqSK1BIMHGJ7F575ZYDn72nzLe3K022PVotKwQ-ytZpkoR4q2ICcYxgzNe9nZ0Qk3TX__Na9PppG3I09SgcqOnb-oaBBs/s1600/DSCN4225+as+Smart+Object-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLniTDoZbQSfSJqIX0BQf21T3-IEh97RMOFv7DtCXGU6aawwkqSK1BIMHGJ7F575ZYDn72nzLe3K022PVotKwQ-ytZpkoR4q2ICcYxgzNe9nZ0Qk3TX__Na9PppG3I09SgcqOnb-oaBBs/s1600/DSCN4225+as+Smart+Object-1.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span>I wish you joy and happiness on your new journey:-)</span></div><div style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 15px; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-rendering: optimizeLegibility; vertical-align: baseline;"><span>KathieyV</span></div>
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Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-12477207015979545012024-01-19T08:00:00.001-05:002024-01-19T08:00:00.235-05:00Stress Relief and Self-Care Part 5- Let's Get A Pedicure!<p> I believe that taking the time to take care of ourselves can help us relax and reduce our stress. I found this thought backed up online, and according to <a href="https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/wellness/self-care-and-stress-reduction/de-stress">Amherst College</a> "taking care of yourself will help maintain your physical, emotional, and mental reserves to prevent and manage stress.</p><div>So to take care of myself this week, I decided to get a pedicure. The pool in my community just opened, and sandal weather is here, so I thought this would be a good idea on many levels.</div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQLyn4GiwSDoITfXMfGBk5R64C0Yv-rcyMoCS6lWOvTre2kPIXEnHcY2Z4NQZNIKq8i_XP5KlZ4AquzUGm4Vu4uRBzmzoEpvjJd8Iw1Jq_sKmBg5pL59c7CbqEUHB5Ii3wpOXoBC6RGQ8t6_U5TV_an1mxARCWSVqweHQhyY0WJAUzHmo02eu2rmtY/s2000/10B59B7C-794C-4EF3-8987-B70184E66865.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQLyn4GiwSDoITfXMfGBk5R64C0Yv-rcyMoCS6lWOvTre2kPIXEnHcY2Z4NQZNIKq8i_XP5KlZ4AquzUGm4Vu4uRBzmzoEpvjJd8Iw1Jq_sKmBg5pL59c7CbqEUHB5Ii3wpOXoBC6RGQ8t6_U5TV_an1mxARCWSVqweHQhyY0WJAUzHmo02eu2rmtY/w640-h512/10B59B7C-794C-4EF3-8987-B70184E66865.png" width="640" /></a></div><p>Some studies say that stress relief can keep you healthy and boost your mindset and energy levels. One way to achieve a level of stress relief is through self-care. One way for us to care for ourselves is by getting a pedicure.</p><p>The environment itself in a spa should be calm and relaxing. Typically there is calming music, and the visual surroundings should be warm and peaceful.</p><p>Along with the spa setting, there are typically options for scented treatments. This enhances our experience through aromatherapy.</p><p>The pedicure experience also includes a foot and lower leg massage. This increases circulation and promotes relaxation, thus boosting our mental health.</p><p>There is nothing like a bit of pampering to boost our mood and our outlook.</p><p>Here are a few things to think about when planning your pedicure. I would read reviews on the spa. Search for a nice one in your area to make your experience a good one.</p><p>I have to admit I choose poorly. I have been to charming, peaceful locations in the past, but the place I visited this time was less than ideal. </p><div style="text-align: center;">My Experience</div></div><div>In most cases, I enjoy the ambiance of the nail spa. There is usually calming music and a peaceful, serene atmosphere. Full disclosure, that was not the case where I went. First off there was no music. The place was loud, the employees were talking and laughing in a language I did not understand, and it went on the entire time. This was uncomfortable for me. The screen on the wall was nothing but a screen showing blurry images. They need to get that fixed.</div><div>I did get a nice result on my feet, but it was not a relaxing experience. I will do my research next time.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Take Care of Yourself-</div><div style="text-align: center;">I suggest you get a pedicure. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Be sure to check reviews before you go.</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-21827355356523358712024-01-17T08:30:00.001-05:002024-01-17T08:30:00.119-05:00How Long Does it Take to Recover From a Divorce? It Depends Who You Ask!<p>How long does it take to get over the end of a long-term marriage? The answer is that it depends on who you ask.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcoQhaA_LeoLCqnarjZbchd2l33d3j_dtmydHtzkPKEHCjIBP2hr-YVXNLtk92dbsiR5QSG686og11ZJWSnTaIIOxGY8LEhqUcr5YRJ4NviGIaUTg7TLPXtM54SUjZmKm4PD_ucBfYfJYGHU5qB4RPaM3njhwJnoDVPrDKdBart2kqh47vBO3M1kHN/s2000/F90A75FE-602F-44ED-89D6-21F648BD560E_1_101_o.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcoQhaA_LeoLCqnarjZbchd2l33d3j_dtmydHtzkPKEHCjIBP2hr-YVXNLtk92dbsiR5QSG686og11ZJWSnTaIIOxGY8LEhqUcr5YRJ4NviGIaUTg7TLPXtM54SUjZmKm4PD_ucBfYfJYGHU5qB4RPaM3njhwJnoDVPrDKdBart2kqh47vBO3M1kHN/w640-h512/F90A75FE-602F-44ED-89D6-21F648BD560E_1_101_o.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">The Youtube Version</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hQHMhorFu0g" width="320" youtube-src-id="hQHMhorFu0g"></iframe></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>Divorce is hard. The unwanted divorce I went through after 37 years of marriage was the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. The process of recovery is a long, confusing, and painful road. People who have not had this experience may say or think, "just get over it." If it were only that easy.</p><p>Here I sit, wondering what the typical recovery time is for those of us<span style="font-family: times;"> going</span> through a divorce. I was left in 2013 and divorced in 2017, and I count the years of recovery starting on the day I found out he was leaving in 2013. It has been nearly 10 years. I can honestly say I quickly recovered from him, but I have not recovered from the scars he left. I have not recovered from the dissolution of our marriage and our family, and that is where the pain remains.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-f19QCCqgHSaMPmvhCe0OTOKmzARG73qTI4Vy1j9QERxVpk-aWoTjx7XUsByxofhXQSDppcWp7bQe2vV2ORz0JBLN5IDBmVJ9SgpOvoEyQpoyH2J-3ulZFVCoSY-ipz2IGLSknRU85fXS7KMNF74Gy2KrrBxz9wFjM10agpqLANhJ-UJiF8862DU4/s2000/F7441B11-B8F9-437F-93F0-71E60CD59BBB.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-f19QCCqgHSaMPmvhCe0OTOKmzARG73qTI4Vy1j9QERxVpk-aWoTjx7XUsByxofhXQSDppcWp7bQe2vV2ORz0JBLN5IDBmVJ9SgpOvoEyQpoyH2J-3ulZFVCoSY-ipz2IGLSknRU85fXS7KMNF74Gy2KrrBxz9wFjM10agpqLANhJ-UJiF8862DU4/w640-h512/F7441B11-B8F9-437F-93F0-71E60CD59BBB.png" width="640" /></a></div><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;">The first article I read was an article I found in</span><a href="https://www.regain.us/advice/divorce/how-long-does-it-take-for-a-man-to-get-over-divorce-10-factors-that-affect-healing/" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);"> Regain Us</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;"> that said, </span><i style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;">"Most psychologists and therapists' general rule of thumb is one year of healing and recovery for every five to seven years of marriage..." </i><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;"> That means I should be totally recovered by now. I should have been doing the happy dance in 7.4 years. Well, that is not true for me because of the aftermath that was left behind. You just don't heal from that type of pain easily or quickly. Not that 7.4 years is quick. </span></p><p>The second article I found was on a site called SAS For Women. The article is entitled <a href="https://sasforwomen.com/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-a-divorce/">How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Divorce?</a> They mention two-time frames that are possible for getting over a divorce. One study says 18 months which for me is totally untrue. Then they mention a saying "that it takes half the time you spent together to truly move on." To me, that is just depressing because that means it will take me about 17-18 years to recover. I sure hope that is not true. I will fight that statistic with all that is in me.</p><p><span style="font-family: times;"><span face="Lato, Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;">I think the time variations depend on the situation and the people involved. I think it also depends on your financial situation. In many grey divorces, a spouse is left with no money and lacks a career, and it is difficult to start over when you are in your senior years.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: times;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLX7tvXVNC12TE0ZkVSQzSx_Kzq0l9CeSAzkSQ0Y6xq97jIZ_Dk8gZrDvxjgHNIwfeu9wpvsLdpOg8daUCnmPyJ8MZhqTrVdN9hJEgxET_Ch8SHupUubBIMLVfU1MgVE9ZQRPXlp5bJdc2msO7ekoTnyL21aZRBfHskMi4bVxkjAWoqylJMpN1rzm/s2000/3375B211-6414-4682-BBF7-5D842072EF47.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcLX7tvXVNC12TE0ZkVSQzSx_Kzq0l9CeSAzkSQ0Y6xq97jIZ_Dk8gZrDvxjgHNIwfeu9wpvsLdpOg8daUCnmPyJ8MZhqTrVdN9hJEgxET_Ch8SHupUubBIMLVfU1MgVE9ZQRPXlp5bJdc2msO7ekoTnyL21aZRBfHskMi4bVxkjAWoqylJMpN1rzm/w640-h512/3375B211-6414-4682-BBF7-5D842072EF47.png" width="640" /></a></span></div><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;">They mention two things in the article that stand out to me, which are situations that can make the healing process longer. These are The length of the marriage and the element of surprise. Sadly both of these apply to me because I was married for 37 years, and I had no idea he was leaving. He had been meeting with an attorney, and I had no idea. Many of the other things they listed applied to me as well, but I think the top two for me were the ones I mentioned.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68); color: #444444;">In conclusion, the suggestions on how long it takes to recover from a divorce are widely varied. I think because no one really knows. I don't think you can place a specific time on recovery because there are so many variables. </span></p><p><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">Now knowing we have no idea how long it takes, I am going to research how we can speed up the healing process. I am hoping to find ways to come out on the other side of the pain a bit quicker. I hope this is possible. I will let you know what I find soon!</span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">God Bless You On Your Journey!</span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(68, 68, 68);">KathieyV</span></span></p><p><br /></p>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-42218260925990920642024-01-15T09:17:00.003-05:002024-01-22T14:20:07.957-05:00Journal Prompt #3 What Was Your Career Goal As A Child and How Was Your Reality Different?<p> </p><p style="text-align: center;">Tell Your Story Through Journaling</p><p style="text-align: left;">Journaling, I have found to be an invaluable tool. Journaling is not only a way to relieve stress and help us process things it is also a way to tell our story.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD5SSxRbJwsQ8JIt-uMc08NLpGHSnsnby1rctOcSohA9dVFgNeD8t8rftWuTPVbtjZ8RRNaucJVrZLX6wKX1y_GyJ41PPC1YUboIfHirYibo14PNulyT15fN5w6VVHJ4s3PRIIwh-IWJA/s1080/fullsizeoutput_4868.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD5SSxRbJwsQ8JIt-uMc08NLpGHSnsnby1rctOcSohA9dVFgNeD8t8rftWuTPVbtjZ8RRNaucJVrZLX6wKX1y_GyJ41PPC1YUboIfHirYibo14PNulyT15fN5w6VVHJ4s3PRIIwh-IWJA/w640-h640/fullsizeoutput_4868.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><div>My career goal as a child was pure, idealistic, and full of hope. I recall so clearly my desire to be a Catholic Sister. I would daydream about following God and serving others through the sisterhood. The problem was that I was not Catholic. Where did this desire to be a Catholic Sister develop? Thinking back, I believe it came from several different places. My brother Bruce had Down's Syndrome. Bruce was a Student at the Benedictine School in Maryland, and that is where I first encountered the Sisters. They seemed to be so lovely and caring, and I admired that. </div><div><br /></div><div>There was a movie that made an impact on my thinking in my younger years. The movie title was The Song Of Bernadette. In this movie, a young girl saw the Virgin Mary when no one else could see her, and the young girl followed Mary's commands. The girl's faith was put to the test as she followed her truth in the face of ridicule. Powerful movie; I need to watch it again now that I am an adult and see what impact it would have on my adult self. </div><div><br /></div><div>I recall from a very young age having a strong calling to follow God. I am not sure how this calling came about. It may have been the prayers of my Grandmother or through the loving care of my mother. I don't know, but I do know there has always been a strong pull toward faith in my life. </div><div><br /></div><div>How has my reality been different from my original career goal? I did not become a Catholic Sister, although I highly regard them. I did, however, marry a man with the stated desire to be a pastor. I did spend much of my time involved in the church in music and ministry. I also became a nurse. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was able to accomplish some traits of my childhood career goal through my nursing career and my work in the church. My pastor husband abandoned me, but I try to keep my desire to serve God alive. I think that we can serve God wherever we find ourselves, and with that in mind, I believe many of my childhood goals for a career in my life were met.</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-1795181041450859732024-01-12T08:30:00.001-05:002024-01-12T08:30:00.122-05:00What the Heck is Series?.....Part 3-What the Heck is Gaslighting?<p>Let's continue with our series "What The Heck Is?" Today we are going to focus on gaslighting. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWy7SSnxDnxol5mp7GKnpujA2h5-P_PGbUsVuzr8PRsxBgCgv1Ci9h8lh4SZIHlQpsk-cd7eX8eRC5Mf7BTQb9e0i-jIO2hJ4gsJT3n8wPCfzdqJtySJvzTEd4hbLJ970vZrXYdwsS1we5SZStJC6NMe_IUFHS1-O4keWqcLLkcmT1U7Ox98mS0sAB/s2000/22E87477-230E-49BD-B6FF-CEAC77FCC42F.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWy7SSnxDnxol5mp7GKnpujA2h5-P_PGbUsVuzr8PRsxBgCgv1Ci9h8lh4SZIHlQpsk-cd7eX8eRC5Mf7BTQb9e0i-jIO2hJ4gsJT3n8wPCfzdqJtySJvzTEd4hbLJ970vZrXYdwsS1we5SZStJC6NMe_IUFHS1-O4keWqcLLkcmT1U7Ox98mS0sAB/w640-h512/22E87477-230E-49BD-B6FF-CEAC77FCC42F.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p>I had heard the term gaslighting, but I did not become curious about this term until my husband left me. Since then, I have researched the term and found it is pretty standard among narcissists and can be found in just about any type of relationship. One relationship where you may discover narcissistic gaslighting is in a marriage.</p><p>First, let's look at the definition of gaslighting according to <a href="https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/what_is_gaslighting_abuse/">Newport Institute.</a>..</p><i>"Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition."<br /></i><br /><p>One article on <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/what-gaslighting-how-do-you-know-if-it-s-happening-ncna890866">NBC News</a> talks about gaslighting and how you know it is happening to you. The article mentions a few techniques that a gaslighter may use...</p><i>*Withholding (meaning he or she refuses to listen or says they don't understand)<br />*Countering (when the abuser questions the gaslighter's memory of an event)<br />*Blocking/diverting (when the abuser changes the subject or questions the victim's thinking)<br />*Trivializing (making the victim's needs or feelings seem unimportant)<br />*Forgetting/denial (when the manipulator pretends to have forgotten what actually happened or denies something he or she had previously agreed to)</i><br /><br /><p><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470">Very Well Mind</a> tells us what the effects of gaslighting can have on a person...</p><i>Gaslighting is usually performed over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories. This can lead to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, and uncertainty of one's mental stability. A common result of this is a dependency on the perpetrator.</i><p>An authority I have learned a lot from is on YouTube, and her name is Dr. Ramani. She shares her extensive knowledge of all things related to narcissism. She is a wealth of information. Below is one of her many videos...</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FISZshe9L3s" width="320" youtube-src-id="FISZshe9L3s"></iframe></div>Being gaslighted can make you feel like you are losing your mind. Knowledge can help you protect yourself from its devastating effects, as can counseling. If you think you are in this situation, do your research and ask for help if you feel you need it.<div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey</div><div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div><p><br /></p></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-65398431180063322332024-01-10T08:09:00.000-05:002024-01-10T08:09:00.131-05:00Quotes-A Quote I Like by Ava Duvernay "Create Your Own Door"<p> <span face="Roboto, sans-serif" style="font-size: 15px;"> Today, I selected a quote by Ava DuVernay. This quote is accurate on many levels. In order to succeed in this life and be happy, we can't continue to make the same mistakes or knock on the same door. We can't continue to knock on the door of someone who damaged us and expect the situation to be different. We can't continue to knock on the door of what we know we should not be doing and expect different results. We have to choose a new positive path. This takes commitment, courage, and determination, but we can do it. </span></p><p style="font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPT7WOhIOI9MNAeQJifdCC8qino9cBNivU63D_iZh0VkT5O2u24bLKkXF6KWfd8tohLPK0jUmpdn6SUbvTYYv4ZCrt0mgEdPO57rwwCSoKHoCfb_QkVqDtmRuCVuoyhC8bSJX1binDqCNZYe5flLB5J420NbWj1N2Pam8z46UJzKbme7gJIbb3ks61/s2000/871858F6-5A68-4486-98E5-AC0433436204.png" style="color: #f39d28; display: inline-block; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPT7WOhIOI9MNAeQJifdCC8qino9cBNivU63D_iZh0VkT5O2u24bLKkXF6KWfd8tohLPK0jUmpdn6SUbvTYYv4ZCrt0mgEdPO57rwwCSoKHoCfb_QkVqDtmRuCVuoyhC8bSJX1binDqCNZYe5flLB5J420NbWj1N2Pam8z46UJzKbme7gJIbb3ks61/w640-h512/871858F6-5A68-4486-98E5-AC0433436204.png" style="border: 0px; height: inherit; max-width: 100%;" width="640" /></a></p><div style="font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: center;">God Bless You on Your Journey!</div><div style="font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 15px;"><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-1833945949635048082024-01-05T07:46:00.004-05:002024-01-05T07:48:39.611-05:00Looking Back at My Divorce-Divorce Article from Huff Post "11 Pieces of Advice for Anyone Who has Ever Been Left"<div style="text-align: center;">Blast From the Past.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My Thoughts on a Divorce Article</div><div style="text-align: center;">(This was written in 2015)</div>If you think you understand the feelings and emotions of a woman going through the pain of "Being Left," you don't. At least not until you go through it yourself. I, too, thought I could relate to the pain of a woman being thrown away. I was mistaken. I understand it now. I am nearing my second year in this process, and I have gotten stronger, but it is a process. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVqZrcil5BcsLePD-hgb-G81d7bGTLMc3S6i7TtA-lxWRKFGe_6Cav3I1JntCM7Z-g9BHN_llCg8VVL1kpA9n_LjlScqKuMw65rDhGq7Wzy06c6cEL7mw2JHOCkWjf77OR_e5YBp_Jb4s/s800/fullsizeoutput_49ca.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVqZrcil5BcsLePD-hgb-G81d7bGTLMc3S6i7TtA-lxWRKFGe_6Cav3I1JntCM7Z-g9BHN_llCg8VVL1kpA9n_LjlScqKuMw65rDhGq7Wzy06c6cEL7mw2JHOCkWjf77OR_e5YBp_Jb4s/w640-h640/fullsizeoutput_49ca.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div><br /><div><br /></div><div> I found this article on the Huff post that many of us can relate to. Those of you who love someone going through this process can learn from this and maybe be better able to relate to the one on this journey. To read her article, please click this link <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/12/divorce-advice_n_5673183.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce-advice">"11 Pieces of Advice for Anyone Who Has Ever Been Left."</a><br />
<br /><div style="text-align: center;">Here is a quote from the article...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><i>"As anyone who has ever been broken up with knows, the feeling of abandonment can be crippling -- but it is in those moments that we feel our lowest we must find the strength to go on."</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
So here are the 11 pieces of advice. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I am listing her advice and then placing <b>my experience</b> below each of them.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Keep calm and carry on.</strong><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Easier said than done. I was so paralyzed in the early days I was anything but calm. I would just tell myself to breathe, and that was an accomplishment. The only thing that calmed me was prayer, exercise, and friendships. Many of my friends that I attended church with for years were not at all surprised by the actions of the one who abandoned me. They saw it coming before I did. Others were shocked at such behavior.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> 2. Find a support network. </strong><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Please do this for yourself. I did this early on. I was so desperate. I reconnected with many old friends from the church where he pastored. They were so supportive. I have met new friends going through the same trauma. I found that folks really want to help. I also had to go to my Dr. for help with the rapid onset of depression. I had to hire an attorney for legal support, plus PIs and digital forensics specialists. Please reach out. You can't do it alone. My main support was my faith in God.</span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Believe in your own strength.</strong><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hard to do in the beginning. It gets easier as you progress. Remember, it is a process.</span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Know that you may not get a happy ending.</strong></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I guess that depends on the happy ending you are looking for. Initially, I thought he would reconsider dividing his family. I was willing to take him back, but that did not happen. I have learned so much in the legal process's discovery phase that I am now glad it did not happen. I am striving for my own happy ending. I am embracing my singleness and finding the beauty that surrounds me even in my pain. </span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Understand that endings are actually beginnings.</strong></span></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yes, they are. I hope to use my new experience to help others.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Find your voice.</strong></span></span></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Working on that daily:-)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">7. Embrace your feelings, whatever they might be. </strong></span></span></span></span><br /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">This is difficult, but I totally agree with her. All I wanted to do in the beginning was escape my feelings and run away from my pain. Now I let myself feel, which moves me to action. I, too, find that when I give these feelings to God, he helps me carry them.</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">8. Fake it 'till you make it.</strong><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">You do have to fake it in the beginning. I call it going through the motions. It takes a while to enjoy what you used to love when your spirit has been crushed. The joy will return, not overnight, but it will if you just keep trying. I promise. Don't give up. </span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">9. Take your time and realize there's no "right way" to cope.</strong></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There is no time frame. We are individuals. Initially, my coping mechanism was the thought of ending it all and thus ending the excruciating pain. The despair is debilitating. As I look back, I realize that was a negative thing to do, but I really did not know what else to do. I was paralyzed. What I did right was to pray and attempt to lean on my faith. I listened to Christian music for hope. I made myself go to church. I know if you are going through this, you, too, may be desperate. Please try to find ways to cope that won't hurt you and others in the long run. Trust me, the despair will pass, and you will be stronger. </span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">10. Let go. (of the relationship)</strong></span></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I did have to let go. I am sure that is not the answer for all of us, but it is for me. Don't let anyone judge your decisions.</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">11. You'll survive.</strong></span></span></span><br />
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Yep, you will, and so will I. We will not only survive but thrive:-)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "century" , "times" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif;"><span style="caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif; font-size: 15px;">Remember God's Promise, "I will never leave you or forsake you."</span></div>
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 21px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: georgia, century, times, serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span></span></span>
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KathieyV:-)</div>
</div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-16104809850431411302024-01-03T08:30:00.001-05:002024-01-03T08:30:00.133-05:00Beware the Narcissist Part 4-Ways to Know If I May Be Dating A Narcissist<p style="text-align: center;">Beware the Narcissist-Part 4</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Ways to Know If I May Be Dating a Narcissist</b></p><br />When going through a divorce, many people realize for the first time, maybe in decades, that they were married to a narcissist. Sadly, most are not taught in school, or anywhere for that matter, what a narcissist is, so when confronted with narcissistic behavior, we may not be aware of the signs or potential abuse involved in a relationship with a narcissist. With that in mind, I will be doing a series on "Beware The Narcissist" to help us become more familiar with the typical behavior of a narcissist. Even if we are lucky enough to have not been in a narcissistic relationship, it is good to know what to look for to avoid such a relationship in the future.<br /><div><div>(<i>Remember, I am not an expert. The information I have obtained I have read or have heard firsthand from some who have had to deal with a narcissist.)</i><br /><p style="text-align: center;">Part-4</p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Ways to Know If I May Be Dating a Narcissist</b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here we find ourselves in the position of dating again. Did I ever think I would find myself dating again after being married for decades? No, it never even entered my mind. But, here, many of us are. It is impossible to totally protect ourselves from being hurt or damaged again, but let's be as informed as we possibly can when meeting new people. Let's take a look at some... </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ways to Know if You May Be Dating a Narcissist.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU07VDFVEMnslSqzqFKCSC3sd-9IoTI4Z_tagDAa7j6OPduKR-jBXWuh743Tfsw6bpbHOnWlbfTvTGusmODFwpgsXSkIK4wVeMMfHst6Id-0CwCKeGTCu6CJ_4VRqi55UDJZ3J1TgQWJeq7GfbSt0suz4c_FYAaxpyec4_-YNsdhuFY_nkDQdXIWBTx6s/s1080/8E94C973-049B-45E1-968D-75D088C96943.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgU07VDFVEMnslSqzqFKCSC3sd-9IoTI4Z_tagDAa7j6OPduKR-jBXWuh743Tfsw6bpbHOnWlbfTvTGusmODFwpgsXSkIK4wVeMMfHst6Id-0CwCKeGTCu6CJ_4VRqi55UDJZ3J1TgQWJeq7GfbSt0suz4c_FYAaxpyec4_-YNsdhuFY_nkDQdXIWBTx6s/w640-h640/8E94C973-049B-45E1-968D-75D088C96943.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>It may be extremely difficult to identify a narcissist. Sometimes, this type of personality slaps you in the face and is an overt personality trait. In other cases, it is more covert. With the covert narcissist, you may not be able to quickly identify this trait, and you may feel something is not right, but you can't put your finger on it. You begin to question yourself, and that in itself is a red flag. </p><p>Here are a few things to look for when dating that "may" indicate you are dating a narcissist. It is not a perfect science, and many narcissists are smooth and can hide this trait. All we can do is our best to be informed and be cautious.</p><p><b>Love Bombing</b>- Who does not like being shown affection and told you are wonderful and perfect. This can be a lovely thing, but it can also be a red flag. It can be a form of manipulation. Love Bombing is a technique used by a narcissist. Here is one definition of Love Bombing...</p><i><div style="text-align: center;"><i>“Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection </i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person”</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Sasha Jackson</i></div></i><p style="text-align: left;"><b>A False Sense of Entitlement- </b>Many times, a narcissist believes they are more intelligent, more attractive, and better than everyone else. They feel they deserve the best from everyone; they feel entitled. To fulfill this sense of entitlement, they will stop at nothing to get what they think they deserve, basically to feed their ego regardless of the cost.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>A Lack of Empathy-</b>They don't understand the emotions of others. They see other people as a means to their end. They can't identify with the feelings of others, nor do they want to. If you are with them long enough, you may see how they talk about others with a lack of empathy or how they treat you with that same lack of empathy. Sadly, though, they can fake empathy, which makes the detection of a narcissist even more difficult.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>They are Manipulative</b>-They can feed your ego to get what they want, or they may send you on a guilt trip; either way it is manipulation. This is a form of control.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>They Have A Constant Need For Validation- </b>Narcissists need praise in all areas to build their fragile egos. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>They Leave You Feeling Exhausted-</b>Why do they leave you exhausted? Because they tend to talk about themselves most of the time. They do this in an effort to look good to others or to build their ego. They have little need to listen to others or to you, although, during the love bombing stage, they may pretend to.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>Their Lack of Ability to Take Responsibility- </b>Narcissists like to blame others. It is never their fault. If you listen very long to a narcissist, you will soon pick up on the fact that everyone around them is to blame for everything negative in their lives; they are never at fault.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><b>They Live in a Cycle of Idealization and then Devaluation of Others-</b> When a narcissist begins to develop a relationship, they tend to idealize their new "supply"; they can do no wrong. Soon after, they will devalue that person when they no longer serve a purpose for the narcissist. Listen closely to how they talk about others; this could be a key to who they are.</p><p style="text-align: left;">These are just a few red flags that you may be dating a narcissist. It is good to be wise and aware that they are out there. On the other hand, if you do date, it is essential to keep an open mind and realize that not everyone out there is a narcissist or has bad intentions. Just keep your eyes open and stay smart on your dating adventures.</p><p style="text-align: center;">God Bless You On Your Journey!</p><p style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</p></div></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-53106744755221725342024-01-01T08:00:00.001-05:002024-01-01T08:00:00.357-05:00Monthly Motivation-Disconnection and God's Promise<p> The last 2 sermons I have listened to have touched on the fact that many of us feel disconnected. Just what is the definition of disconnected?</p><div><br /></div><div>Disconnected: Having a connection broken. To feel separated, separated, divorced, cut off. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am sure there are many life events that leave us feeling cut off or disconnected. For me, it was the end of a very long marriage. For you, it may be something else. Whatever the circumstance it is a comfort to know that we are not disconnected from God. Please remember His promise</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>"I will never leave you or forsake you"</i></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thank you, God! </div><div style="text-align: center;">That makes me smile:-)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzb3v2NBidYz5L3Fe9zfqsX3vMohNgWBYa8g-oAtOOFxcZhk1_6tvhyhfFRPTCqIpeB9SD3k3MKtbFQtlFolO5vZRuVt9qx-Tn4B7JWcnLkaeq_F5jlVcufC16RLiGMTj5eiNLa7lVB2B/s1600/1599464_10153258018343496_1495559836788960782_o+as+Smart+Object-1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrzb3v2NBidYz5L3Fe9zfqsX3vMohNgWBYa8g-oAtOOFxcZhk1_6tvhyhfFRPTCqIpeB9SD3k3MKtbFQtlFolO5vZRuVt9qx-Tn4B7JWcnLkaeq_F5jlVcufC16RLiGMTj5eiNLa7lVB2B/s640/1599464_10153258018343496_1495559836788960782_o+as+Smart+Object-1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Happy Monday!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">KathieyV:-)</div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-22896702537915021582023-12-29T08:30:00.001-05:002023-12-29T08:30:00.122-05:00Divorce Diversion-Let's Take a Trip to the Grove Park Inn National Gingerbread Competition. <p> Every year in Asheville, NC<a href="https://www.omnihotels.com/hotels/asheville-grove-park">,</a> the National Gingerbread computation is held at the Grove Park Inn. I was so excited that I was in the area this holiday season and could see some of the amazing gingerbread houses in person.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtvgIkW65TNWprtT5qhWCiwYllSEBW7Z1emojijm2NqH8bPW3m2uo4neBs9ufZ1n-Ooa__Ys_r3x2UHB_Qp7ui8kvvkTPrZiqRzyb8h1t6TARb-SR8NYZd1BB2SusGHjx15ReJMiLpQ9-E0k3rxC6wopM_PZI_oV6p_-5ZP1yCusAZOC4XxH7rN7AlTbY/s2000/A7087243-BD75-4F3F-B71B-48AB244A98EB.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtvgIkW65TNWprtT5qhWCiwYllSEBW7Z1emojijm2NqH8bPW3m2uo4neBs9ufZ1n-Ooa__Ys_r3x2UHB_Qp7ui8kvvkTPrZiqRzyb8h1t6TARb-SR8NYZd1BB2SusGHjx15ReJMiLpQ9-E0k3rxC6wopM_PZI_oV6p_-5ZP1yCusAZOC4XxH7rN7AlTbY/w426-h640/A7087243-BD75-4F3F-B71B-48AB244A98EB.png" width="426" /></a></div><p>This year marks the <a href="https://www.omnihotels.com/hotels/asheville-grove-park/things-to-do/gingerbread/national-gingerbread-competition">31st Annual National Gingerbread House Competition</a> at Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC. It all began in 1992 as a community event to celebrate the holiday. The tradition has blossomed into a very high level of competition. Even though the fierce competition includes talented artists, they do not leave out the novices or children who are allowed to participate. </p><p style="text-align: center;">A Few Competiton Facts...</p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><ul><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">Everything above the base must be composed of edible materials.</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">The base of the entry must be a board base.</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">60% must be handcrafted.</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">The entry is judged on appearance, originality and creativity, difficulty, </span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">precision and consistency of the theme.</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">There are four categories: adult, teen, youth, and child</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">You can participate as a team.</span></li><li style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-align: left;">There are some very nice prizes if you win or place.</span></li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And the winner is...</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg4cK8kfkRP-YzPORjntvLjB7B9mGcX-9t0zMa-gUh0upg2H882jQLKj0LnNnmjP9UPe9kc9RFwpmL6uExUiO0QV3hMvM61HLs_YwRy3umvAEiXe-BVysYkPveMxD_pHI73l99PHdayYVGDFcXx2gWZs8t9HKe2_O0b8Wo81DIN7dOqUvBS6LgmzGyxZo/s2000/3FD65152-5898-47D6-B4B7-4C001775CC5C.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg4cK8kfkRP-YzPORjntvLjB7B9mGcX-9t0zMa-gUh0upg2H882jQLKj0LnNnmjP9UPe9kc9RFwpmL6uExUiO0QV3hMvM61HLs_YwRy3umvAEiXe-BVysYkPveMxD_pHI73l99PHdayYVGDFcXx2gWZs8t9HKe2_O0b8Wo81DIN7dOqUvBS6LgmzGyxZo/w426-h640/3FD65152-5898-47D6-B4B7-4C001775CC5C.png" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div>The 1st place entry is beautiful, with a ton of detail.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzg_u40IK09LUEzMqPNmPB5wbTnW9Esh4PsPlogfx5C-UwjGQMXselX-mL2KXovoogBj-rLa3T0Rryzh5S1qBZoWYWyBUgblD-A9mfyPIW2wHmSWF5nc_mGucHaNd4D9kIjHJbMIX2IStu0RWI5Q3QmMTY7Z_jDCHI84P6lv-7zjsavdVbj48hb2zjpxo/s4032/F6616AFE-1B9D-4F0E-808A-F6DFC86D4212.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzg_u40IK09LUEzMqPNmPB5wbTnW9Esh4PsPlogfx5C-UwjGQMXselX-mL2KXovoogBj-rLa3T0Rryzh5S1qBZoWYWyBUgblD-A9mfyPIW2wHmSWF5nc_mGucHaNd4D9kIjHJbMIX2IStu0RWI5Q3QmMTY7Z_jDCHI84P6lv-7zjsavdVbj48hb2zjpxo/w480-h640/F6616AFE-1B9D-4F0E-808A-F6DFC86D4212.heic" width="480" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They also have kids and youth competitors.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdQZQJByRxRZ4mETTVemYJb3etTjiSTszVQsM6PqZfXGsL1PAcPhMXKNA62YadVtmHWwteyKIe16OOaUyyMGVvKzbv3aXCDfkKnDV_M2GLqbUMOlNcEO4RIb2PWUv264HhHh7xlHUg41-RSuTiFBdGWyFet51hMb7wcO9EdveHtsElBEzo148ZVIXfkPM/s2000/5572DADA-4489-4AF6-BE40-DE5795278307.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdQZQJByRxRZ4mETTVemYJb3etTjiSTszVQsM6PqZfXGsL1PAcPhMXKNA62YadVtmHWwteyKIe16OOaUyyMGVvKzbv3aXCDfkKnDV_M2GLqbUMOlNcEO4RIb2PWUv264HhHh7xlHUg41-RSuTiFBdGWyFet51hMb7wcO9EdveHtsElBEzo148ZVIXfkPM/w427-h640/5572DADA-4489-4AF6-BE40-DE5795278307.png" width="427" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My personal favorite:-)</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd3isa0MQ1xbhnRGPNGguIsIPwVdJvKPoTKuv0JF7XObflXRXkUE9O_SJQ1pMFejb6QqahS4uMB3Vkz_3UnnIgLgU0mZhs8hOaJJxDzSWEmUve_HBUk1jIQCcxt86HjWb7kJLoUX5NuhbT8xp5aWdcUQu9iHL7fV2FVhxvcsMntXNsnf1vyLIY1ysjQoY/s3251/B123AD42-AD35-449B-89A8-CC9AEF0CA503_1_201_a.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3251" data-original-width="2984" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd3isa0MQ1xbhnRGPNGguIsIPwVdJvKPoTKuv0JF7XObflXRXkUE9O_SJQ1pMFejb6QqahS4uMB3Vkz_3UnnIgLgU0mZhs8hOaJJxDzSWEmUve_HBUk1jIQCcxt86HjWb7kJLoUX5NuhbT8xp5aWdcUQu9iHL7fV2FVhxvcsMntXNsnf1vyLIY1ysjQoY/w590-h640/B123AD42-AD35-449B-89A8-CC9AEF0CA503_1_201_a.heic" width="590" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my favorites is so full of detail. I can't imagine how many hours it took to complete this project.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9mQc4q78AJwKUtx8EZwtmIp_DCOb-IMkPwXq-1gbgM_S2W5SPZEY-FNJcnVQIYurhafwXHt-67IZhErz3WM3lMitpEBaHJB-9fyvi9dwrSvPIEBo2DZjmvkavSTDCLV6lkTLLw3DXooEAk0diLrUY2nLSVQ3ipxuKPAEdcusFPqvAXKuR3WiOjcCchS0/s2000/9EDDEA6D-A404-422B-9240-521668EC49A9.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9mQc4q78AJwKUtx8EZwtmIp_DCOb-IMkPwXq-1gbgM_S2W5SPZEY-FNJcnVQIYurhafwXHt-67IZhErz3WM3lMitpEBaHJB-9fyvi9dwrSvPIEBo2DZjmvkavSTDCLV6lkTLLw3DXooEAk0diLrUY2nLSVQ3ipxuKPAEdcusFPqvAXKuR3WiOjcCchS0/w426-h640/9EDDEA6D-A404-422B-9240-521668EC49A9.png" width="426" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtabkoImAJ_mCgj7sZ3m2JqoHWLN-u64GeAjRamaFONdA8TCynBVxwdvhuxQ_Qr4tkRrzAGy4BkCZj04riGjuNNGtq7aeoF1TzKF3gQMiJrs9QwpueCzpRp6p2oNHVCwWNEZqykNpD8wjCB8yIhupSXgdIjc3OKE3yBxAU2XtZlj0aywBfn4UBd-sA19Y/s4032/538938EB-FDAD-4C19-BFBA-E79EA9276AC1.heic" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtabkoImAJ_mCgj7sZ3m2JqoHWLN-u64GeAjRamaFONdA8TCynBVxwdvhuxQ_Qr4tkRrzAGy4BkCZj04riGjuNNGtq7aeoF1TzKF3gQMiJrs9QwpueCzpRp6p2oNHVCwWNEZqykNpD8wjCB8yIhupSXgdIjc3OKE3yBxAU2XtZlj0aywBfn4UBd-sA19Y/w480-h640/538938EB-FDAD-4C19-BFBA-E79EA9276AC1.heic" width="480" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I took too many photos to share. The National Gingerbread House Competition is an amazing event. I was so happy I got to see some of the winners on display at Grove Park Inn...What a joy!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Happy Holidays Everyone!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">KathieyV</div><br /></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634382650479215521.post-16070861447206363452023-12-27T08:30:00.000-05:002023-12-27T08:30:00.133-05:00Stress Relief and Self Care Part 2- Need Stress Relief? Let's Go Hiking!<p style="text-align: center;"> <u style="text-align: center;">Divorce and Stress.</u></p><div>The stress of divorce ranks second on many stress scales, just behind the death of a spouse. I disagree with it being second because I see an unwanted divorce as "like a death but with intent." Stress can have many adverse effects on your life and your health. With this in mind, I will be doing a series on stress relief to see if we can at least diminish the stress and anxiety accompanying separation and divorce.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdP-vpyjupzw5UxTibfXa1kupAKM6GNMKTKETCGVoYYW7YkC4ykW7c90gjzKwLXfs8A4eZEnGn9w__z0i0TFWW2pitbS8dcSfwssQmx7qrxt_YjIp90gixcaBAu2-bZoAQJA_sWwEiYaEEx2NM3PJotcVHzM-NirrSvPERle0zmzzC2qH0qS7JXi7VEDA/s2000/66A9425A-2042-41E4-ADF4-58199F75C371.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdP-vpyjupzw5UxTibfXa1kupAKM6GNMKTKETCGVoYYW7YkC4ykW7c90gjzKwLXfs8A4eZEnGn9w__z0i0TFWW2pitbS8dcSfwssQmx7qrxt_YjIp90gixcaBAu2-bZoAQJA_sWwEiYaEEx2NM3PJotcVHzM-NirrSvPERle0zmzzC2qH0qS7JXi7VEDA/w640-h512/66A9425A-2042-41E4-ADF4-58199F75C371.png" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>There is something relaxing about taking a hike outside on a nice day. Feeling the cool breeze and warm sun on your face as you surround yourself with the beauty of the countryside has a calming effect, at least on me. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8j5gzP6POvrxnK8IUDFFVrJFL42qtckLxu5l6VcnD-ZDs1KfDs18YiN6dWfDWKYWlDeCwLu05QypbTLqCdU08bI4IKCVAmEhx87RBryl-skIgWQ2vn7xa4_wmsbiIsoXH2V62wJgkoSc/s1600/fullsizeoutput_4076.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="800" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8j5gzP6POvrxnK8IUDFFVrJFL42qtckLxu5l6VcnD-ZDs1KfDs18YiN6dWfDWKYWlDeCwLu05QypbTLqCdU08bI4IKCVAmEhx87RBryl-skIgWQ2vn7xa4_wmsbiIsoXH2V62wJgkoSc/s640/fullsizeoutput_4076.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br />As I was looking for ways to relieve stress, I found that many believe that hiking is one way of doing just that. Here are a few things I found as I was researching this topic.<br /><br />When you hike, you get the health benefits of exercise, such as increasing muscle mass, improving balance, and good heart health. Plus, the sights and smells of nature boost your mood, thus decreasing anxiety and stress.<br /><br />According to <span style="color: #0b5394;"><a href="https://www.ottawalife.com/article/5-ways-hiking-helps-you-relax?c=39">Ottawalife</a>,</span> <span style="background-color: white;">mild exercise reduces fatigue by 65% and increases energy by 20%.</span><br />In an article by <a href="https://healthyliving.azcentral.com/hiking-relieves-stress-4601.html"><span style="color: #0b5394;">AZ. Central</span></a> they say, <i>"<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.14000000059604645px;">hiking is one of the most effective methods for combating stress on a regular basis."</span></i><div><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="background-color: white; letter-spacing: 0.14000000059604645px;"><i><br /></i></span></span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 0.14000000059604645px;"><span style="color: #333333;">I like this quote from </span><a href="https://www.thewellpath.com/news/4-reasons-why-hiking-is-great-for-stress-relief/"><span style="color: #0b5394;">The Wellpath</span></a><span style="color: #333333;"> "</span></span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Happy Hormones – Those who hike weekly or biweekly have increased levels of endorphins, norepinephrine, and a stronger internal system of stress management."</i></span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><i><br /></i></span></span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">To get the benefits of hiking, it would have to be on a somewhat consistent basis. I walk several times a week, usually anywhere from 2-4 miles, Mostly on area sidewalks, but many times I end up off the beaten track, and it feels more like a hike.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I had to google the difference between walking and hiking. </span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">"Hiking and walking</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;"> differ from the path the person takes. </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">Hiking</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;"> obviously involves </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">walking</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">. However, when you </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">hike</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">, it means you are </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">walking</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;"> from a lower elevation to a higher elevation. On the other hand, when you </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">walk</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">, it means that you are only </span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">trekking</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); color: #222222; font-size: 16px;"> a relatively smooth and flat path without too many hurdles."</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.differencebetween.net/miscellaneous/sports-miscellaneous/differences-between-hiking-and-walking/" style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">The Difference Between.Net</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>When I am on an actual hike, it is usually 4-5 miles. Most of the time, I like to go with others on a hike. I want to be with people familiar with the trail to lead the way. I find most of my hikes through MeetUp. When you go with a MeetUp group, you also get the added benefit of socialization. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MyFZj_GNKNB-ZS08vZH-mnLUbxDEGYIu8Rc2XZe8s5JJxYXHD_97gX5bXnk-6FxrvPB2TPSTg0CRivZX9OsuiLZvcrVoDMQFzMz8ymJ7SvRu7nr_1Y_JUiI85m1PaBQZDTlbuF61T48/s1600/fullsizeoutput_3a8a.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_MyFZj_GNKNB-ZS08vZH-mnLUbxDEGYIu8Rc2XZe8s5JJxYXHD_97gX5bXnk-6FxrvPB2TPSTg0CRivZX9OsuiLZvcrVoDMQFzMz8ymJ7SvRu7nr_1Y_JUiI85m1PaBQZDTlbuF61T48/s400/fullsizeoutput_3a8a.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>While on vacation in the North Carolina Mountains, I found a hiking outfitter group that led the way to some lovely waterfalls. Going with this group, I did not have to worry about getting lost in the North Carolina Mountains, which is always good.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl1ZsztX9TdSaanLEE53r16xoKIYz5X9x2gdCMM8kOs2_0oRdu0I2ef3TL1anI3y4s5OymvwSt4V2VFNlyu7lW1PsaoatE7xu4CbXvuC_oSX-qf5StPwHAjkLruE_Xcrp4ITCFRCzxtNA/s1600/DSCN9056.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl1ZsztX9TdSaanLEE53r16xoKIYz5X9x2gdCMM8kOs2_0oRdu0I2ef3TL1anI3y4s5OymvwSt4V2VFNlyu7lW1PsaoatE7xu4CbXvuC_oSX-qf5StPwHAjkLruE_Xcrp4ITCFRCzxtNA/s400/DSCN9056.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>What I love about hiking is that I am getting some needed exercise. Hiking in new locations is a fun adventure. I feel calm being out in nature, taking in all the sites and smells of the outdoors.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib9Ny4mT9XdMq3iO0BuR6rTrFhEfm-yJZdjXc7hLmwZZft653NEiiMLciIxEnoshIDrJvDlotuVHFUSGZZOVg_Sjz6d51R1TUHQEPOILJwMy_NcxdSfWrECS0hnntILmyX13Y-r9Tjn28/s1600/fullsizeoutput_37f2-1.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib9Ny4mT9XdMq3iO0BuR6rTrFhEfm-yJZdjXc7hLmwZZft653NEiiMLciIxEnoshIDrJvDlotuVHFUSGZZOVg_Sjz6d51R1TUHQEPOILJwMy_NcxdSfWrECS0hnntILmyX13Y-r9Tjn28/s400/fullsizeoutput_37f2-1.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>We have to be aware of our health and physical ability before we jump into hiking. I see hikes on meetups that are 10+ miles and are listed as strenuous, and I know immediately that would not be the hike for me. I am more of a 4-mile girl on mildly rugged terrain. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Here are a few links to some hikes I have taken</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://kathieysworld.blogspot.com/2020/02/places-hiking-linville-falls-trail-in.html"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Linville Falls</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://kathieysworld.blogspot.com/2019/09/places-hiking-peninsula-trail-at-harris.html"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Peninsula Trail at Harris Lake</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://kathieysworld.blogspot.com/2019/07/tuesday-travels-my-trip-to-bryson-city.html"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Bryson City Waterfall Hike</span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Weather is a factor in hiking. I was looking at my local meetup site, and some hikes are planned this week, but rain is in the forecast nearly all week. Call me a wimp, but I don't like hiking in the rain or in muddy conditions. That said, I plan to hike with a group on the next dry day. Every time I go, I feel the benefit of working out, meeting new friends, and being outside.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Happy Hiking, everyone!</div><div style="text-align: center;">KathieyV</div></div><div><br /></div>Kathiey's Worldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18134861771288397627noreply@blogger.com0