Saturday, April 4, 2015

My Story My Divorce….The 1st Separation Agreement...

I remember the day my husband of 37 years handed me the separation agreement that he and his attorney had produced for me to sign.  At that time I was still trying to trust him,  hoping that he had my best interest at heart.  Foolish? Yes!  Naive? Yes!  Stupid?  Yes!  Yes!

If I heard it once I heard it a thousand times from friends,  co-workers, and from folks who have been through it…."Don't sign anything without an attorney."  Even in my state of confusion and pain I did listen.  If I could go back I would have hired an attorney right away.  I was rather slow in this process but I did, finally, hire a good attorney.  

I remember the first thing she did was read through the agreement.  She shook her head.  She could see things written between the lines that I couldn't  begin to see.  She could see he did not have my best interest at heart, and she questioned the third party protection found in the document.  

One of the first lines that I highlighted in the document was "Whereas, as a result of certain irreconcilable differences and disagreements, husband and wife separated…"  Interesting, I was not aware of any.  (Although, upon discovery I am aware of many now.) Yes we had the normal problems of marriage but I never would have guessed he would have chosen this for our family.

I have to take this sentence out of a very long run on sentence.  I think they write it like that to confuse you, so you don't see the innuendo hidden within.  "…The husband and wife shall at all time hereafter live separate and apart…..for all intents and purposes as if they had never been married."
How can you even begin to do that?  Married for 37 years, two children, a grandchild.  How can you live as though you have never been married?   How can you take 37 years out of your life as though it never happened?  I don't believe you can.  I only believe you can learn from it.  I believe you have to forgive so you can move on.  But, you don't forget.

So, if you, like I, have been discarded, thrown away as though nothing.  Please remember that is not how God feels about you.  He loves you, & me, beyond anything we can comprehend.  He promised us and His promises are true…."I will never leave you or forsake you"


God Bless You!
KathieyV:-)

2 comments:

  1. It can be very confusing and difficult to read through a divorce agreement. Having someone to lean on does make a difference.

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  2. Yes it can John. I am so thankful for those who helped me.

    ReplyDelete