Friday, December 26, 2014

Guest Post from Huff Post "Ten Ways to Survive the New Year Post-Split" by Mindy R Smith

Here is an article from Huff Post by Mindy R. Smith.  Ways for we newly single to approach The New Year.  I  hope you can find something to help you on your journey.  My comments will be in red
"Ten Ways to Survive The New Year Post-Split"
By Mindy R Smith

There is never a good time to experience the end of a relationship or go through a divorce. Most people arrive at the end of a relationship only after a long emotional journey. Going through the New Year's celebration alone is difficult. This time of year is perhaps the worst time to be facing a break-up or divorce. Don't despair. Life will continue, and love will find its way to you again. In the meantime, surviving means re-evaluating your goals and expectations.
Here is a list of ten things you can do to get through the holiday. With a good attitude, levity, and lots of humor, you will make it through to new beginnings and a new year.
10. Adopt a pet from your local animal shelter. There is nothing like unconditional love to make you feel appreciated. Turn your negative feelings into something good by adopting a pet. Animals love you no matter how much you weigh or how bad you feel. It is nice to have a sweet animal greet you at the door when coming home to an otherwise empty home. You will also be possibly saving a life of an animal in need. Of course, please make sure you are well-informed and financially able to take care of your new furry (or scaly) friend. (I already have my furry friend…Brodie.  I adopted him from a local shelter 5 years ago.  He never takes his eyes off of me.  I wonder what he is thinking?  Probably  how much he loves me:-)
Brodie
9. Establish an exercise regimen. Exercise is a great stress reliever. Exercise gives you energy and empowerment over your body and spirit. Your new body will also make your ex pine with jealousy when he/she sees you next. Make a list of fitness goals and follow through with each goal. Reward yourself as you you meet and exceed each fitness milestone.(My exercise of choice is Zumba.  What fun.  I have been doing this twice a week since X left.  I want to increase it to 3 or more times a week.  Great workout!  A good way to make new friends too:-)
8. Volunteer for your favorite charity. If you find yourself alone on New Year's Day, volunteer at your local Salvation Army, food bank, or homeless shelter. Giving your time to others in need will give you perspective and will certainly ensure that you will be doing something rewarding rather than wondering how your ex is spending the day.
7. Buy yourself a gift. You already bought that designer purse for your ungrateful niece or the Call of Duty game for your less-than-deserving nephew for Christmas, now its time to 'give the gift that keeps on giving' - you! Buy yourself a New Year's gift. (I did buy myself a gift.  I joined a club called Silver Connections.  I paid the dues and now I can join them for many fun events.  From supper clubs to travel.  I have already been to one holiday event and it was wonderful.  Another great way to make new friends:-)
6. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a facial at the local spa. Invest in that cosmetic procedure you have been contemplating, but couldn't indulge in because you had to take care of everyone else in the family. (I think I will go get a pedicure:-)
5. For the newly single or divorced man, take a trip with your friends. You have wanted to escape the annual boring party for years. Take that sporting/adventure trip, go party in Vegas. This is your chance to do all those things you said you would do if you could just spend New Year's Eve the way you wanted. This is also your chance to rekindle that friendship with your best buddy with whom your ex would not allow you to spend time. (What do you mean this category is for men?  I love to take trips with friends.  This appeals to me too.  I will be planning some type of adventure this year!)
4. If you have children, preserve your holiday traditions. If you still have children at home, maintain a sense of normalcy. Children thrive in stability so do your best to preserve the holiday traditions that you and your ex-spouse held dear while you were married. With each passing year, you will have the opportunity to establish your own traditions for celebrating the New Year. (X doing this to our family has definitely made the holidays more difficult.  It is what it is.  I am slowly trying to find new traditions.)
3. Do your own thing. Instead of attending the dreaded New Year's Eve party with all your friends who are blissfully in love only to face twenty questions about the reasons for your break-up or divorce, send a polite regret saying, "I'm ringing in the New Year with me and myself. See you all next year." (I will probably be home this year for new years.  I will be working a lot this coming week.  If nothing else I will enjoy a glass of wine and work on my blog.  If something comes up I will go, but if not I can be content enjoying an evening with Brodie)
2. Toast yourself. The night before New Year's Eve, go to the local pub in your area and ask the bartender to serve you a pint of Guinness ™ in a chilled mug. Within half an hour you will hear tales of salaciousness, infidelity, divorce, loneliness, and other misfortunes you can't even imagine. You will realize there are people in worse situations than you. I can personally vouch for this one. (Cindy and I are hitting a local bar/restaurant this weekend.  Maybe we will sit at the bar and mingle and listen out for stories.  I think I will order wine instead of Guinness.  If you recall that may be the reason for our break up…(Drinking Habits May Predict Likelihood of Divorce…)
1. Salute. With each sip of Macallan and each puff of your Cohiba Black Robusto, repeat after me..."that blankety-blank-blank did not deserve me." Drink responsibly, of course. (I don't know what Macallan or Cohiba are but I can sip on something and state my own comments on what X has done to our family. There are a lot of things that I could say and have said. But you know what?  I choose not to focus on X this New Years Eve.  He broke his vow, I didn't. He divided our family, I didn't.  I choose to think on the good that still surrounds us even when things don't go the way the should.  I want to Salute the thinks that deserve saluting.  The good, faithful, and joyful things in life)
Happy New Year to all. Enjoy yourself and please don't drink and drive. Here's wishing you good cheer, and here's hoping your weary heart will mend and that true love will be yours this New Year. (Ditto.  Very nice blessing and wish for all of us)
Happy New Year Everyone:-)

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