Sunday, November 23, 2014

Words of Wisdom. Guest Post from Huffington Post. "Five Ways to Survive the Holidays with a Broken Heart"

I am always scanning the web to find useful articles to help me through this process of an unwanted separation.  I found this one that is focused on the holiday season.  How timely.  It is titled"5 Ways to Survive the Holidays with a Broken Heart" by Debra Rodgers at Galt Time.
Here is what she has to say…..my comments will be in red:-)
WOMAN DECORATING CHRISTMAS TREE

By Debra Rogers for GalTime.com
Whether he dropped the breakup bomb during Thanksgiving dinner, Black Friday, or he was a summer love that you still haven’t gotten over, the holidays can send you further into “unhappily-ever-after.” You may feel the only way to survive is to hibernate for the winter in your breakup sweats with Dreyer’s limited edition peppermint ice cream. But before you grab a fluffy blanket, here are five fabulous ways to make your holidays much happier:  
(My X just left.  No discussion, no attempt to save the marriage.) 
(I have never tried Dreyer's Peppermint ice cream but it sure sounds good;-)
1. Isolate yourself in public.
Instead of wallowing in bed watching, “Once Upon A Time,” get up, put on some clean clothes, and take yourself out. Go to an Oscar-worthy movie (it’s the season for them), sit with a cappuccino and your favorite book at a local coffee shop or go check out an art exhibit. Even if you don’t feel like being social, at least you’re mixing with other warm bodies (besides your Yorkie!).  
(One of the most difficult things to do, when you experience this type of trauma, it just the act of getting out of bed.  I have decided to follow her direction.  I will go to a movie over the holiday season.  There are several I want to see.)
2. Receive love and support from friends and family.
Many times we don’t talk about our breakup because we’re ashamed, embarrassed, or it’s just too painful to discuss. But talking about it can be the best therapy. When I was going through a painful divorce, I called up my brother and sister in law and asked if I could stay at their house for a couple of days. Just getting out of my own place with all the memories of my ex helped me break free of the cycle of hurt. So have a sleepover with a friend or family member and stay up late in your jammies, talking, drinking hot chocolate, and watching old Christmas movies. Accepting love and support from others goes a long way in healing a broken heart.
(I have no problem at all talking about this breakup.  It is therapeutic to share. As far as getting out I am planning things for the holiday season)
3. Keep your holiday traditions.
Don’t skip out on the holidays this year because you just can’t bring yourself to trim your tree. Host a decorating party with your friends and have everyone bring an ornament. Or host a cookie baking party and have everyone bring their favorite recipe. Or have vision board party and make visual collages of what you want in the New Year. Whatever you choose, you’ll be making your place light and jolly, instead of dark and gloomy.
(Plan on putting up a Christmas Tree and hopefully hosting a holiday party)
4. Put yourself at the top of your holiday list.
Now that you don’t have to spend your hard-earned cash on the latest “man gear” gift or on a zip-line getaway trip for Mr. Heartbreaker, indulge in something you love. Buy yourself a day at the spa, plan a mini-getaway with your girlfriends (take a couple of days off in the middle of the week), or splurge on that red dress you’ve been eyeing. By taking care of yourself, you are acknowledging your value and worth.
(I do have value and I do have worth even though I have been thrown away.  There are several things I could get for myself.  Not sure what to choose but I will choose something:-)
5. Stand under the mistletoe.
Holiday parties are probably the last place you want to drag your butt to, but they can be just what you need to get you out of your holiday slump. So accept that “Mix, Mingle & Jingle” party invite. If you’re uncomfortable going alone (I get it), bring a friend. Get your makeup done, put on your little black dress, and do some shameless flirting. And if you end up making out with a new cutie under the mistletoe, awesome!
(Flirting, I don't know.  I have been married forever so this is a different world.  I may give it a try:-)
The most important thing to remember is that your ex gave you a gift –- the gift of YOU. So lavish your time and attention on your amazing self. Make your holiday wish list, knowing your possibilities are endless.
(For me the holidays mean christmas music, decorating, church services, plays, and movies they all get me in the holiday spirit.  I plan to seek out many of these venues this holiday season)  
Thanks Debra for a great article.  
Please feel free to comment on how you plan to enjoy you holiday season.
Happy Holidays Everyone:-)

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