My Story My Divorce Page 12. One of Many False Truths:-(

    In the early days of my transition X claimed he wanted to be my friend.  He told me he would always care for me.  I now believe it was just a ploy to get me to sign the original agreement he had drawn up.  As soon as he found out that I hired a PI and we were headed to court things quickly changed.
    I remember being notified by my attorney that X had claimed that he lost his position as lead pastor at the church because of me.  This was around the time my parents were dying. I was spending a lot of my time at my parents home when all this transpired and if he was let go I knew nothing of it.  As far as I knew he resigned.
    I remember I was at work when I got the notification from my attorney that X said he lost his job because of me.  More stress.  I got on the phone and called two of my friends that were members of the church.  One of them Melissa had been on the church board.  She confirmed he had resigned.  My other friend Joanie got in touch with our district superintendent and he too said that this was not the case.  I later met with the DS who confirmed that X did not lose his position he resigned.  I was told that X stated it was now time to take care of me, he wanted to fix up the house and maybe travel.  I would have loved that.  That had been one of my big goals all along.
To me from my attorney….
"He says he that you couldn’t get along with the music minister and refused to go to church so that he lost the position."

My letter to my attorney
Hey Joanne,
When Joe took the position at the church he made it clear to the church that they were not hiring me that I would be a member like everyone else.  That is how it went all those years.  I was drama director and I helped with the music ministry under dave  for years and then Scott  came in.  Initially we worked well together but not for long.  We did not click.  I can remember we argued once ,I don't even know when it was,  I know it had to do with music but I can't remember the details.  I did not leave the church because of him.  If I was not present in the church as much as I had been it was because my father fell ill in the spring of 2007 and  died Nov 2007 of pancreatic cancer.  I took care of him during this painful process, very difficult.  After that my mom started to go down hill very quickly and was soon in hospice care.  She later died Jan 2009.  Very stressful time for me.  That was the main reason I was disconnected. 
Please call Melissa and get the scoop of his voluntary retirement.  It has nothing to do with me.  Please call Mark B., Joe's boss at the time and he will tell you the same.  
Why does this matter?  He already lied and said he was fired and that is not the case. Isn't that enough? 
Her reply to me...
   It really doesn’t have anything to do with support else that he is trying to deflect the fault away from himself.

I just called a friend of mine, Melissa  She was on the board at the time joe left. He was not fired. They even had a party for him. She said to call her any time.  I will work on getting you Marks #

 I later received a letter from X's boss that confirms that his accusation that I got him fired was a false truth…..
It still amazes me that he could do so much to try to hurt me.  We spent 37 years together.  We had 2 wonderful girls together.  We had a beautiful home and a wonderful grandchild together. Awful how cruel some people can be when they take their eyes off God.   Not how it was suppose to be.


  1. That is really unfortunate. If there's any good that came out of it, it's that you could easily know if X was telling you the truth. It's great that you can trust people in this regard. That could offset some of the pain he may have caused you. I hope you get to sort out this mess, and that you emerge as a stronger person once everything is done with. Good luck!

    Clifford Wheeler @ Powell, Spencer & Partners Solicitors

  2. I am working on it Clifford. It is a process. Thanks for the encouragement:-)


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