Saturday, November 8, 2014

Meetup Group Questions (with my answers) for Group Meeting Nov 23rd. "Help I've Been Thrown Away"

Help! I’ve Been Thrown Away!
Kathiey V.

“Now I know I have a heart because its breaking”
The Tin Man 
(The Wizard of Oz)

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My Story
*How did you find out he was leaving?  How and why did you decide to leave him?

"I found a letter in the mail from an attorney.  My first thought was I am the only one that gets letters from attorneys, due to my parents death.  I googled the name of the attorney and found she was a divorce attorney. My husband of 37 years had filed for legal separation.  I was given no warning and no offer of counseling.  I called him and told him to come home.  He knew his plan had been discovered and called my girls and told them he was leaving me and I would need their support.  I don't think he cared much about support for me he just wanted to appear to be the good guy.  I was so upset with him for telling our daughters in that manner.  To this day my family does not know the truth for which I have piles of evidence.  I don’t think they really want to know.....at least not yet.  And I understand that."


*Was it a surprise or did you see it coming?  If you decided to leave him what was the turning point for you to actually go through with it?

"It was a horrific surprise.  In hind sight there were many questions over the years as to his loyalty to the marriage but I sure did not see this coming.  We were entering our retirement years, we had a grandson, we had a little extra money and we could finally enjoy life. He threw it all away."

*What were your thoughts and reactions when you found out he was leaving? If you left him what were your thoughts and reactions when you made your decision to leave?  Was your response emotional and physical?

"For me since I was blindsided I experienced many strong emotions all in a very short period of time.  First anger in what he was doing to his family.  Then shock and disbelief coupled with fear, sorrow, regret, despair.  I was in a state of constant worry that led to depression.  On the day I learned of his plan to leave me my skin started to literally burn.   My Dr. said it is an anxiety reaction and that it could take literally years to recover.
My physical symptoms were headaches, nausea, decreased appetite, skin burning, insomnia and anxiety.  When I closed my eyes I would see literal waves of blackness.  Fear had started to take hold. 

“Love sometimes comes like a dream and leaves like a nightmare”
Unknown Author

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Current Challenges and Questions
*What are my and concerns this week/month?
Getting a financial planner.  
Beginning research on refinancing my home.

*What do I have to face and do now?
The fact that my X refuses to sign a check that would give me a tax refund on the sale of my inherited property.  He is insisting part of my inheritance is his and wants 50%.  Early on during court proceedings he said that my inheritance was partially his.  We had to go back to the attorney that was handling my parents estate for me to prove he was not named as a beneficiary.  It cost me $500 to prove that point.  Well here we go again.  My parents are turning over in their graves.

*Goals to accomplish these tasks?  Make a to-do list.
Reach out for help with my finances.
Give everything  to God.
Set up appointments with refinance folks

*Questions I have for others in regard to my challenges.
Does anyone know a good financial planner?
“Battles are fought in our minds everyday.  When we begin to feel the battle is just too difficult and want to give up, we must choose to resist negative thoughts and be determined to rise above our problems.  We must decide that we’re not going to quit.  When we’re bombarded with doubts and fears, 
we must take a stand and say “I’ll never give up!  God’s on my side.  
He loves me and he is helping me.  I’m going to make it”
Joyce Meyer



Finding Strength through......
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My Faith

*My prayer requests:

Tax refund situation
Finding financial planner
Refinancing my home
My book



*Prayers for others:
My friend Phil with cancer and his wife Joanie that is caring for him.
My brother Jim with cancer
The women in this meetup group.



*A scripture that helps me make it through the day.
I can do all things through him who give me strength
Philippians 4:3




*Looking for God’s beauty in the pain.  What am I thankful for?:
Caleb, Brodie, Friends, Fall colors, my daughters.



Reading/Media
*What are your reading or watching?  Any interesting quotes or discoveries.

“Pawleys Island”- About a woman going through a divorce and separation and how a strong female attorney steps up to help her.  My friend gave me the book.  She said it mirrored my story in many ways.

Biggest Loser Quote-” Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I respond to it”  Sonya, biggest loser contestant.

“If you are going through Hell keep going”  Winston Churchill



Friendships 

*Go out with your friends
Every chance I get!

*Advice from my friends.

*How to make new friends.
I may join a club of folks my age that take time to enjoy life.  There is a membership fee but probably well worth it.  I will be meeting with the CEO of the group for coffee or wine to see if the group is a good fit for me.



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Taking Care of Me


*What have I done for myself?
Spent time with friends
Zumba
Fixed up my back porch
Blogging
Blogging

*Things that help me survive?
God, prayer and devotional times, friends, getting out and doing things.  Exercise/Zumba


*My Goals to have fun and enjoy life?
Continue to get out and do the things I used to love.
Get back to my A-Z adventures
Joining a connections group



“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
Philippians 4:13

See you at small group ladies.  Come ready to share
Love and Hugs
Kathiey:-)
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