My Story Page 7. The Shock and Surrounding Fog of the Early Days….

To say I was walking around in a fog during the early days of this new reality is probably an understatement.  "X" was still living in my home.  He was friendly and full of laughter he appeared to be so happy about his new life change.  He even started fixing up things around the house, getting me to hold tools for him while he worked on the screened porch, fixing up the closet in the bedroom. He kept telling me how happy we would be. He did the majority of the talking telling me how things were going to be so wonderful and that we would remain friends.  I remained in numb.  I would say very little.  I kept hoping he would realize he was destroying our family unit.  Praying he would remember the times he talked of the great pain it caused him and his family when his parents separated and divorced.  How he had told me he would never do this to his family and that he was not like his father.  How he said he was going to break this cycle of separation and divorce in his family.   Sadly he did not break the cycle, he continued it.
In the early days I was barely able to put one foot in front of the other.  I was completely blindsided. I literally believe I was in a form of shock.  This shock would lead me down a path to deep sadness and depression, I will tell you that story another time.
"X" told me he had drawn up separation papers with his attorney.  He said it would be easy that we would go sit in an office with an attorney and sign the papers together.  He said his attorney had a list of lawyers that could help me. He said the entire process would be easy.   All I had to do was sign the papers.
I continued to work.  I did miss the day after I found the letter but after that I only missed on court  dates, another story/stories, for later.  I remember my co-workers and boss warned me, "Don't sign anything!" I spoke with attorneys that crossed my path and they too said not to sign anything.  They warned me "he is not your friend".  (Sadly I still wanted to believe that he was).
Did I sign the papers?  No.  Do I wish I would have?  No.  Did I hire my own attorney?  Yes.
Am I glad I did?  Yes.  Did he remain my friend?   No.  Is there more to the story?  Yes.
If you find yourself in this situation.  Please reach out to your friends.  You are not crazy and you are not alone.  You are God's child and he loves you more then you know.  Hold tightly to your faith.
Hugs and Blessings


  1. You did the right things. Good job. It is so hard to see the person who lives behind the mask of normalcy and realize you have been living with a monster. I'm glad your faith is intact. Stay strong.

  2. Thanks Marcy,
    I hope you are doing well!:-)


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