Help! I've been thrown away.

Just sharing a letter that I am sending out to many local folks in my area.  A letter seeking people on this  road of separation and divorce.  This will also be the site where we will have updates on the meetings.  Wish you all lived close enough to join.

" I am writing this letter because I have been through a trauma.  The pain of a husband walking out after 37 years of marriage.
     My husband was a pastor for nearly 20 years.  Being a pastor's wife I thought I could understand the pain that one felt when faced with separation and divorce.  I realize now, that this has become my reality, that I was extremely short sighted in thinking I could even begin to relate.  I had no idea!   The emotional and physical extensions of this pain can be debilitating.   Day to day responsibilities seem insurmountable.  You become oddly paralyzed.
     It has been over a year since this new chapter began in my life.  Am I completely recovered?  No.  Not completely.  My Dr. tells me it can take two to three years to even start to feel whole again.  I have come a very long way in the past year though and I am thankful for all the support of my friends.  I am thankful for my faith and the knowledge that God is beside me.
     I believe that if I suppressed this reality in my life and just move on like it never happened I would be lying to myself.  I believe that God can use our experiences and our pain to help others on the same journey.  I too believe others on this road can help me.  

"Experience is not what happens to you.  It is what you do with what happens to you.
Don't wast your pain.  Use it to help others"
Rick Warren.

     I am starting a small group for women, like me, who have been thrown away.  For women who have faced infidelity and betrayal and find themselves entering the reality of separation and divorce.  This will be a faith based group, not church specific.  My hope is to have a group where we listen, support and pray for one another as we go through the many changes that face us.  We can give advice based on our experience and learn from one another as we face all the new challenges that confront us.  We can learn to give our fears and worries to God and let him carry them, (this I have found to be a one day at a time, sometimes on minute at a time process).  In this group we will pray for one another, cry with one another, maybe even go to court with one another.  We will seek Gods direction in our lives.  There will be no judgement in this group, we are all going through different stages of grief.  Our emotions both positive and negative are normal.  We will give them to God and seek his guidance in dealing with these emotions.
     This group will meet in my home twice a month on Thursday evenings. There will be other opportunities to meet as well such as outings, and dinner, (maybe a weekend trip:-). I hope to have fun and even laugh together as we attempt to live our lives to the fullest placing God at the helm. We will all be on call for the phone call in the night when one feels they can't go on.  I have been there. It is awful. 
     If you know anyone in this situation that you feel could use this type of support, someone in the first few years of this trauma, please have them e-mail me.  I hope to start the group in late Sept. or early Oct. " 
     Please pray for us!


  1. Kathy... where do you live? I met a friend the month after I filed for divorce. We talked, we cried, we talked and cried some more for about four years. This was huge in getting me through the grieving process. Family and friends quickly get weary of the conversation. I was lucky to have her. I think your group sounds fabulous. I'd love to come in I live close enough.

  2. What state are you in Suzanne? I am in NC:-)

  3. What a great idea. I went to a divorce support group about three months after my divorce, but it was too painful and I just stopped going. Your group sounds like fun. Too bad the commute would be about 15 hours!


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